aterat | One Fall And One Less Bear

"Yes you would." Ignis agreed softly, squeezing the hand over his heart before bringing it to his lips for a brief kiss. He then lowered it and leaned in for a brief kiss as he let Nida's words be felt as much as they were heard. And even though they raised a question, and one that could be downright dangerous to ask at the moment, the man remained silent. That would come with its own procession of things that needed to be said.

The rings had been a reminder he wasn't this man's first relationship but Ignis didn't fault him for that at all. He too wore something of Noct around his neck as well every day even though they didn't have a relationship like Nida had.

"You do seem happy, since your fascinating eyes always manage to give you away." And sometimes it was the only way he could know what was going on. If he kept his focus on that, it would be fine. He could keep everything else locked up just like he was used to doing because it caused a lot less trouble that way. And Nida's feelings and comfort levels were far more important than his own.

"And you give away next to nothing," Nida returned, though there was no judgement in his tone. Perhaps a bit of wistfulness, but no judgement.

So much of him was about knowing how to read people and what they didn't say. But just as clearly so much of Ignis was about being unreadable. He didn't begrudge that the other man was just better at what he did.

"Are you happy?"

The question had to be asked. Because if he wasn't, Nida didn't want to be a barrier to Ignis and happiness.

Ignis sighed at what Nida said though it wasn't the words themselves in a sense as he knew at least here with this man he could stand to let his defenses down a bit more.

And just as he thought to apologize, Nida asked him that question. That had him worry some more that some of his polished exterior had to drop. "Yes I am happy darling." he answered honestly and sincerely. His hand attempted to gently flatten the one over his heart and he shook his head.

"Maybe I should say it more often to you so that you that don't worry. But I want you to be a part of my life and I don't want anyone else at all." Here he tried not to show it, so Ignis clenched his jaw slightly so he didn't say too much and ruin this moment.

The words would hardly ruin it. They might well prompt similar ones that were held back only by fear that they came far too soon.

Truly, if his brother were here, he might well be chided over falling too quickly every time. But he wasn't, and so there was no one to chide him. Just Nida and Ignis and the former offering the latter a soft smile.

"I feel the same way, my flame."

He nodded. "When I accepted the necklace that you've gifted me with, I was yours." These words were a little awkward for him to say because he'd never spoken them before. Other than that it was a recital of an oath which was moreover made to the Crown with no words being spoken of them being given to an individual.

But the more time he'd spent with Nida, the more he realized he had to come to terms with that. Many were the nights that he'd lain awake and cradled the man with him now into his arms as he pondered what he'd long fantasized about on Eos. That of course paled in comparison to the very real thing that he had now. The someone he had now could give feelings back and did making him feel more alive than he'd ever felt.

Nida didn't deserve half measures. He'd brought the advisor's world to life and brought so much joy and colour into it. So the man deserved all of Ignis and not parts and pieces of him, which was what he was working on.

Edited 2020-12-15 02:36 (UTC)

His hand slipped from the necklace, moving up to curl in Ignis's hair. So wonderful. So very, very wonderful. To be this close, to be desired.

"The very act of giving it to you was my way of saying I am yours," Nida tells the man, his voice soft and firm. Ignis needs to know that. To understand that.

"I just want to be yours."

Ignis smiled at the hand going up to his hair because that was always a personal favourite thing. And then Nida was returning the words in kind which left no doubts in his mind anymore.

So at hearing them, that sealed his fate so to speak and not in a bad way. There would be a change in the way he looked at his relationship with Noct since he wasn't the type to be able to have feelings for two different men. This relationship would have a future as long as he remained here or was able to bring Nida home with him like he wanted to. And those thoughts were some of the words he'd hesitated to say.

Ignis didn't want to make promises he couldn't keep, that wasn't who he was. So he would see if he could talk to the Aspects about that. If it could be arranged, he would keep Nida at his side for as long as the other wished it.

Leaning down slightly once more, the advisor kissed Nida gently then pulled back long enough to look into his eyes and speak softly.

"Then show me."

Places like this... they never let people go where they wanted. They made promises for no real reason. So Nida not knowing of Ignis’s resolve would be fine. He would hate to have his lover make a promise that could not be kept.

“Show you?” He asked instead, tilting his head slightly but keeping his eyes on Ignis’s, and that beautiful green shade that was so wholly one he loved.

“How can I do that more than I already do?”

Such high aspirations, and more likely than he thought. The day had been long and emotional, and Nida soon started to fall asleep, right against the other man, book sagging out of his loosened grip.

If he were awake Nida might have been impressed. He had such trouble sleeping through the noise of rain after all.

There was the tiniest bit of a chuckle and a shake of the blonde head. "You needn't do anything more." Ignis didn't want Nida to think that what he did was inadequate by any means. So he leaned down and kissed his mate again, taking it slow with soft lingering kisses.

Finally he released his hold on Nida's hand, the one that had been over his heart. And then moved both of his own to the other's waist in order to pull him as close as he could get.

The kisses were good, sweet and warm like a good, pungent curry, or a heavily spiced tea. He met each and let each go in its own time, ready to meet the next when it came.

The hands pulling him close meant Nida’s arm was free to loop around his lover’s neck, a weight to anchor him as he stretched up straighter to better meet those lips. He didn’t want to miss a second of those lips.

A soft groan came out as Nida slid his hands up. Ignis himself always loved the sensation though he found that he was missing that hand in his, the one that had been over his heart. His hands slid slowly up and down the other's back, trying to still 'talk' even if his mouth was otherwise quite happily occupied.

And then finally he slid his hands down a final time to cup that gorgeous shapely ass which made him let out a very satisfied groan this time. Not for the first time he wished he had more hands so he could do a lot more things.

Nida was a very composed man. He had been through many a strange situation in his life and he felt it leant him some measure of gravitas.

He absolutely blew all of that when he giggled over the hands squeezing his ass.

“I’m starting to think,” he whispered as a kiss broke, “that all of my working out is appreciated.”

The giggle totally caught Ignis by surprise and that had him pull back from their kiss. The comment had him let out a small laugh and shook his head. "Of course I appreciate the work you do on your rather beautiful rump." Here he was trying to be so very careful with the words he used right now.

Maybe some day he wouldn't have to be so highly guarded and could be a little more expressive with them. But at this moment it was far better to be cautious.

That one word was one he was avoiding as much as possible.

“Sing enough praises about my lovely ass and it will all go to my head,” Nida chuckles.

When the amusement passed he just smiled.

“And maybe I’ll let you enjoy it too.”

"Your backend is rather lovely. And while I won't actually sing its praises, I can most certainly tell you how much I adore it quite often if you'd like."

Hey if it made Nida happy and even if it made Ignis look like a fool sometimes, to see that wonderful smile? It would be totally worth it every damn time.

He smiled. "Well..here's to hoping that you'll allow me to enjoy such a delicious endeavour at some future point."

Ignis might be smiling but Nida looked shocked. Like he hadn’t fully expected a confirmation that Ignis would want to.

“Wha-, I mean... you would really, you know, want that?”

Somehow Ignis was now convinced he said the wrong thing. And he went back through his mind to his previous comments to check to see if something he'd said was so terribly wrong to have wrought that shocked look on Nida's face.

But then his head tilted to the side but he refused to let go of the man though his grip was light enough to break. His body moved to the side, trying to grab a bit of gravity and figure this out. "And why wouldn't I?" The advisor's mind was now in a whirl wondering if he was somehow pushing boundaries here.

"I don't just want.."

Nope, he couldn't go that route so he went back through what he figured was an approved list of things he could say and get away with.

"Is that not something you'd enjoy?"

Was he wrong?

There was weight to the implication, weight Ignis didn't know. One that left his stomach fluttering and twisting and dancing.

"I'm sorry, I've got you worked up over my own history I guess," Nida sighs, leaning forward to bury his face against Ignis's neck.

"You deserve better than me believing the words of a ghost."

He felt like he was losing ground here and couldn't figure out why. And just as he thought to let go of Nida the man was up against him and Ignis quickly put his arms around the other.

Of course the advisor had no idea what his lover was talking about here, but he held on, determined in his own way to try and protect Nida from whatever ghost was haunting him.

"Darling, I will always believe you over anyone in your past." That had him thinking, wondering if somehow someone from the man's other worlds would show up. "But we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But I'll be here for you no matter what."

"I'm sorry. The last man who ever..."

Who touched him like that, who wanted him like that, who had bedded him like that... Well, his scars were all over Nida's body, weren't they?

"Before the end, before he died, he said there was no way someone would ever want me like that. That they'd take one look at me and only see how I was his, and they wouldn't..."

Dammit. He hated his traumas. Nida took a deep breath and looked up into Ignis's eyes.

"I would really love it if you wanted to take all the time in the worlds to prove Elijah wrong. Repeatedly. In a variety of ways and positions."

He refuses to let that man haunt him now, when he had a good thing here. A real thing. And he knew if it were the last world or the one before, there would be others who would happily tell him the man had been wrong, had been an idiot and vile and not worthy of Nida's time. Here there was a lot less of that old support base. Ignis and Caelan and Jacob, and Nida would never admit how bad it was to the latter most of that list. Caelan knew some of it, had to so that he could help protect Nida from himself in case the darkness came for him again. But no one knew it in Ignis's detail. So it was really to this man he would have to look when it came to banishing his demons.

He had no idea what was going on, but he could feel Nida pulling back. However, Ignis kept a hold of his lover because he wasn't letting go. The advisor was normally very level headed and calm, and he fought to remain that even as his grip tightened on Nida's shirt.

The more he heard, the angrier he got and none of it was at the man in front of him.

So the blonde reminded himself to breathe and the pain in those dark eyes made Ignis want to hunt this man down and resurrect this prick only to kill him himself. But instead he forced a smile which was definitely forced at first. As he went on though, it grew more genuine.

"He's dead wrong. I want you that way and in every way you're comfortable with." This is where it got more sincere and his hands went to either side of Nida's face. "And you're mine now, just as much as I'm yours if you recall. So when I look at you, I will see simply that."

He'd heard those pleas and nodded as they went straight to his heart. "Of course. We can do everything repeatedly as it were because I am the one here with you now." The advisor moved in close and placed his head down close to Nida's and looked into his eyes. "And I am so very fortunate to have such a wonderful man at my side."

And that's exactly where Ignis intended to keep Nida for as long as he possibly could.

A weighty conversation. Perfect to go with the weighty day. And of course, so heavy with meaning and emotion and the sort of support Nida needed.

Which of course was why the moment had to be interrupted by a delicate mewl from Julia upon her throne of the top of the fridge. Clearly even she was picking up on her human’s distress and disapproving. Which drew a burst of laughter from Nida’s lips. She had broken the tension of the moment for Nida, in a good way. In a way that let him move enough to press his forehead against Ignis’s.

“Only one thing wrong with what you said, Ignis. Right now I’m in front of you, not beside you.”

Please let him have the horrid joke. In the moment he needed it because his heart was full to bursting over the support.

When the peacat decided to speak up and Nida laughed, Ignis just smiled. And then his lover was touching their foreheads together while melted his heart of course.

Curiosity got the better of him when the other spoke but he just quietly laughed at the response. "Alright darling, you got me there." Seeing the other laughing now was worth everything, even if it was something as silly as being corrected on a technicality.

After that Ignis took Nida into his arms and held on, looking up at Julia and silently thanking her.

The peacock cat needed no thank you. Clearly she had done nothing. Too busy licking her paw and grooming the feather tufts of her ears. Ignis was clearly mistaken about Nida’s little Princess.

“She’s telling me to get over myself,” Nida smiled as he rested there against Ignis. “Spoiled little brat. Bet she won’t even like what I am getting her from the curio shop.”

That had been his earlier secret, trying to hide how he doted on the feline. But that was the past and the future. The present was the man he wrapped his arms around to hold him closer.

“What say we try and further drive a dark mood away, however your creative mind sees fit?”

yes it does

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