Jacob 'Jake' Miller (
brotherofagod) wrote in
aterat2020-11-09 09:36 am
004 ~ Back from the Dead [OPEN TO ALL]
Who; Jacob 'Jake' Miller & YOU!
What; Coming back from the dead...
Where; A few places, see below.
When; November 8th thru 22nd
Warnings; Death & talk of trauma & more; will post cw's in thread headers.
MEMORIES OF DEATH: GRAY BUILDING & OPEN SQUARE
[The return is jaring. Not because it is sudden, but because death had always been the end of his depressing story. He knows that one day he would die and no one would be able to save him and that is what had happened. He had been faced with a monster and there hadn't been anyone there to save him… but here he is breathing and somewhat alive. His resurrection comes with a cost but Jacob doesn't mind. He feels disconnected from the world, as if he isn't really a part of it.
He can't feel the world around him anymore.
He isn't hollow, he feels something but he can't feel the cotton against his chest or the discomfort when he cut himself. All he felt was the knot of worry and uncertainty tightening in his chest.
Sleep was nearly impossible but he doesn't feel confident enough to wander far from the safety of his apartment. Not yet. It doesn't matter if the bear is gone. He remembers it coming for him, like it knows exactly where he is and is coming for him.
Jacob swallows a shaky breath and begins to circle around the apartment's courtyard. His earbuds are in his ears, classical music ringing through his head but it doesn't calm him down or erase the memories he's trying so hard to forget.
AN ESCAPE: HARBOR
[The cold winds make his eyes water but it doesn't sting like it ought too. This is a strange place to come back to but he finds comfort in the familiar scent and roll of the waves. Maine is a windy state and for a brief instance, he feels like a young boy again, standing before the great wide world but he's still too far away; too disconnected.
Jacob pulls off his shirt and kicks off his boots before walking to the water's edge.
It's so cold. He knows it's cold but he doesn't feel it. The soles of his feet tingle beneath the weight of his frame but it's just his imagination. He knows it's supposed to be cold and his brain is trying to make up for the lack of senses. His body is trying to warn him, to keep him safe but Jacob doesn't listen to the soft signs. Instead, he wonders if Caelan feels cold or if he's somehow immune to it. What he wouldn't give to be special like that; to have a connection to the world that's more than whatever this life is.
Jacob inhales a deep breath and then jumps, submerging himself into the water. His skin prickles but there is no pain. He can't feel anything. The water curls around him and if he hadn't seen it or known what he'd done, he'd feel like he's swimming through thick air. It's only as he's pulling himself from the water that he realizes how stupic that had been. He can't feel but his fingers and lips are blue from the cold.
Just because he can't feel it, doesn't mean it isn't there.
BACK TO NORMAL: GARRY's CARPENTRY
[Just south of the Market District is an open air carpentry shop where Jacob has been working for the last month. It's been two days since he has awoken from his gruesome death but he was back to work, with a set of earbuds in his ears and a small cord trailing down his back to his butt pocket. The music drowns his thoughts as well as the bustle of the market street beyond the shop.
Garry, the shop's owner, was looking over the books and greeting those who walked by with a friendly grin. He was an older man with a gray head and a well built form. Since Jacob has proven his worth as a carpenter, he has been delegating more work to the young man and has been picking up more orders than the month before.
Jacob is wearing a pair of blue jeans and his usual work boots. His shirt has been discarded despite the fall chill, revealing a simple silver cross that rests against his clavicle.
He doesn't stop working. As the day turns to night, Jacob can be found at the shop. Even after the moon begins its accent into the night sky, when Garry is gone and the shop is closed. Jacob stops focusing on orders and can be found sitting on a stool with a small piece of wood and a simple carving knife. He doesn't want to sleep and makes no attempts to head home until he's too exhausted to think.
[ooc: Quote is from Metallica.]
What; Coming back from the dead...
Where; A few places, see below.
When; November 8th thru 22nd
Warnings; Death & talk of trauma & more; will post cw's in thread headers.
MEMORIES OF DEATH: GRAY BUILDING & OPEN SQUARE
He can't feel the world around him anymore.
He isn't hollow, he feels something but he can't feel the cotton against his chest or the discomfort when he cut himself. All he felt was the knot of worry and uncertainty tightening in his chest.
Sleep was nearly impossible but he doesn't feel confident enough to wander far from the safety of his apartment. Not yet. It doesn't matter if the bear is gone. He remembers it coming for him, like it knows exactly where he is and is coming for him.
Jacob swallows a shaky breath and begins to circle around the apartment's courtyard. His earbuds are in his ears, classical music ringing through his head but it doesn't calm him down or erase the memories he's trying so hard to forget.
AN ESCAPE: HARBOR
Jacob pulls off his shirt and kicks off his boots before walking to the water's edge.
It's so cold. He knows it's cold but he doesn't feel it. The soles of his feet tingle beneath the weight of his frame but it's just his imagination. He knows it's supposed to be cold and his brain is trying to make up for the lack of senses. His body is trying to warn him, to keep him safe but Jacob doesn't listen to the soft signs. Instead, he wonders if Caelan feels cold or if he's somehow immune to it. What he wouldn't give to be special like that; to have a connection to the world that's more than whatever this life is.
Jacob inhales a deep breath and then jumps, submerging himself into the water. His skin prickles but there is no pain. He can't feel anything. The water curls around him and if he hadn't seen it or known what he'd done, he'd feel like he's swimming through thick air. It's only as he's pulling himself from the water that he realizes how stupic that had been. He can't feel but his fingers and lips are blue from the cold.
Just because he can't feel it, doesn't mean it isn't there.
BACK TO NORMAL: GARRY's CARPENTRY
Garry, the shop's owner, was looking over the books and greeting those who walked by with a friendly grin. He was an older man with a gray head and a well built form. Since Jacob has proven his worth as a carpenter, he has been delegating more work to the young man and has been picking up more orders than the month before.
Jacob is wearing a pair of blue jeans and his usual work boots. His shirt has been discarded despite the fall chill, revealing a simple silver cross that rests against his clavicle.
He doesn't stop working. As the day turns to night, Jacob can be found at the shop. Even after the moon begins its accent into the night sky, when Garry is gone and the shop is closed. Jacob stops focusing on orders and can be found sitting on a stool with a small piece of wood and a simple carving knife. He doesn't want to sleep and makes no attempts to head home until he's too exhausted to think.
[ooc: Quote is from Metallica.]

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His head rose and he relaxed when he saw that it was Yuki. "Hey." Popping the earbuds from his ears, he drapes the white cord over his shoulders. "What's up?" His voice was horas but otherwise he seemed just as he always did.
Jacob's eyes dropped to the flowers. "Are you going somewhere with those?" He honestly didn't expect that they might be for him.
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What did you say to a person who had passed away? And on top of that was acting as if nothing had happened? So he continued to just stare and blink, wanting to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't seeing or hearing things or dreaming. And he couldn't push any words out at all to Jacob's question which probably appeared to be very rude.
The conversation turned to the flowers and now he had..to explain..those. The grey head lowered and his face turned red as he tried not to sound upset.
"I heard..what happened and I bought.." Yuki's voice trailed off at hearing the sorrow creep into it which he was trying to avoid. "I bought them for you." He took a hitched breath and wasn't sure how to hand them over but he laid them across his hands and held them out, hoping his hands weren't shaking like they felt they were doing.
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"Come here. I have something I wanted to give you too." Jacob released Yuki's hand, placing the floors on the workbench before grabbing something that rested just out of view.
A moment later, Jacob placed a small hand-carved tree into Yuki's palm. It was a cherry tree, carved from a light red wood that almost appeared pink when inspected in the dim light. The trunk of the tree was smooth with each petal carved out with strenuous care. "This is the only one I've done so far but what do you think. Oh, it's for you. To keep."
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But the flowers had been accepted or maybe his mind hallucinated it when his hand was let go. And then the tree was placed in it and grey eyes blinked several times at it dumbfoundedly. "Oh..you..you finished it."
He hoped there was a grateful smile on his face as he pulled back and stood up, trying to not crowd the man because personal space and breathing room was important. So he bowed slightly to try and be polite and cover the emotions he was going through.
"Thank you so much, you did..a wonderful job."
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Jacob inspects Yuki more closely and he feels his expression fall. "Are you sure that everything is okay? You look pale." He glances back at the shop and yearns for the distraction of work but he doesn't feel as if he can avoid this. Jacob knows what has Yuki worried, it's obvious, but that doesn't mean that he is ready to face it. Not after everything that's happened.
Words make everything feel so real.
"Let's sit by the back table. We will not be bothered and we can..." He pauses awkwardly. "Talk." As best as he can.
Jacob gently takes Yuki's hand as well as the flowers and guides him towards the back area of the open shop. It isn't complete out of view but it offers them some privacy to speak.
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"Yes..of course.."
But then Jacob offered to have them talk and Yuki was hesitating. He didn't want to take up anymore of the man's time, the flowers had been accepted, the man was here, he was real and it was time to go. Except the 'go' ended up having his hand taken and led to the table.
Why was he so nervous?
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"Are you okay?" Jacob guided Yuki down to a seat and grabbed the glass of water that he regularly refilled while working. "Here. If you don't mind sharing. It's water."
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"I..I'm fine." Yuki replied shaking his head. He felt more and more like an idiot the more this went on. But he really didn't want to go and so his eyes just followed the man as he refilled the water and slid it over to him. That distracted the silver haired man for about a moment and he kept telling himself to just stand up and leave already.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so rude and take up more of your time. I'm sure you're busy so I should just let you get back to work." Finally he stood up without tripping and nodded. "Thank you for the tree, it's beautiful."
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He pushed it away, focusing on Yuki. His own feelings and confusion didn't matter right now. He'd attempt to unravel that later. So he focused on Yuki, pressing the water into his palm and waiting for him to drink.
"Don't go-" Jacob cut himself off and tried again. "That is... you aren't interrupting. I work too much anyway. I could use the break. So it isn't a bother. I just want to make sure you're okay but if you want to go." He'd never force Yuki to stay but he was worried and he couldn't hide that worried expression from his face.
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Yuki wasn't okay but he shouldn't burden a man who'd passed away with his own feelings. So he started to slowly sit down, unsure as to what to talk about. He felt inadequate and was still convinced the man across from him now was being too kind.
The silver head shook. "You know, you keep asking if I'm okay. But the real question should be if you are okay." He couldn't bring himself to drink any of the water yet though he knew it would be rude to refuse the hospitality. And he wasn't trying to do that at all.
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He rubbed the back of his head with his free hand, feeling awkward for admitting as much.
"You just looked so pale when you saw me. I feel bad... I should have told you when I came back and explained what had happened. I didn't-" He paused and then continued. "I didn't think anyone was really worried about me."
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The smile was nice but it seemed like a shield, and he knew that game all too well so he said nothing but tried a small smile back.
His grey eyes then narrowed and the head shook. "You don't owe me anything, so it's okay that you didn't think that anyone would worry." Really Yuki was trying to play all of this down so that Jacob didn't worry. He could always go home and cry again if he felt the need to. And he just might. "You just..walked around with me that day, same as anyone else could do."
That hurt him to say it, but again this was to get the other to focus on himself, not him.
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He'd think more about it tonight when he was alone and unable to sleep.
"It was a fun day." Jacob countered with an awkward smile. "But I'm fine and I won't let something like that happen again. So you don't have to worry." Not that he thinks that Yuki will worry but he really isn't sure what else to say in moments like these.
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But just as he was going to suggest maybe going to the tavern sometime to eat, Jacob changed the topic.
The silver haired man's smiling expression faltered and he took his gaze away from the other's face and looked down, speaking very softly. "I..I really hope not."
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"Yeah. So no need to worry. And we can walk around the city again. There is a lot I still haven't seen." That was a half-truth but Jacob wanted to make Yuki feel better.
It felt incredibly important.
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So he took a moment and tried to make sure his voice would come out steady. "We can always grab something to eat at the tavern if we get hungry." He had a good idea where to get more of it so he wasn't worried about spending the bit he had.
Besides, if something happened to Jacob again there would be regret that he'd been too self centered and only thought of himself.
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"Sounds like a game plan. Just let me know when and I'll request off work." He didn't mind taking the time to ease Yuki's worries though he really didn't understand what exactly was going on in this conversation. Why was Yuki so worried about him?
This was like a weird episode of the Twilight Zone or maybe Jacob was just thinking too much.
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Or at least in his mind it worked out fine that way.
Nervously he took a small sip of water, just for something to do because he wasn't sure what to do.
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"I am in your hands." He grinned, hoping to help Yuki relax.
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But Yuki always presumed people were just busy because there was a lot to do in this place. And work was just like being back home, people had jobs and responsibilities, same as here. So he didn't want to be rude and take the man away from it, nor would he even think to attempt it.
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Jacob rolled his eyes but was smiling. "Looks like it's decided."
End?
But now luckily he'd been given an excuse to get them out of here and that's what he would do.
End!