004 ~ Back from the Dead [OPEN TO ALL]

[brotherofagod]

Who; Jacob 'Jake' Miller & YOU!
What; Coming back from the dead...
Where; A few places, see below.
When; November 8th thru 22nd
Warnings; Death & talk of trauma & more; will post cw's in thread headers.



MEMORIES OF DEATH: GRAY BUILDING & OPEN SQUARE

[The return is jaring. Not because it is sudden, but because death had always been the end of his depressing story. He knows that one day he would die and no one would be able to save him and that is what had happened. He had been faced with a monster and there hadn't been anyone there to save him… but here he is breathing and somewhat alive. His resurrection comes with a cost but Jacob doesn't mind. He feels disconnected from the world, as if he isn't really a part of it.

He can't feel the world around him anymore.

He isn't hollow, he feels something but he can't feel the cotton against his chest or the discomfort when he cut himself. All he felt was the knot of worry and uncertainty tightening in his chest.

Sleep was nearly impossible but he doesn't feel confident enough to wander far from the safety of his apartment. Not yet. It doesn't matter if the bear is gone. He remembers it coming for him, like it knows exactly where he is and is coming for him.

Jacob swallows a shaky breath and begins to circle around the apartment's courtyard. His earbuds are in his ears, classical music ringing through his head but it doesn't calm him down or erase the memories he's trying so hard to forget.

AN ESCAPE: HARBOR

[The cold winds make his eyes water but it doesn't sting like it ought too. This is a strange place to come back to but he finds comfort in the familiar scent and roll of the waves. Maine is a windy state and for a brief instance, he feels like a young boy again, standing before the great wide world but he's still too far away; too disconnected.

Jacob pulls off his shirt and kicks off his boots before walking to the water's edge.

It's so cold. He knows it's cold but he doesn't feel it. The soles of his feet tingle beneath the weight of his frame but it's just his imagination. He knows it's supposed to be cold and his brain is trying to make up for the lack of senses. His body is trying to warn him, to keep him safe but Jacob doesn't listen to the soft signs. Instead, he wonders if Caelan feels cold or if he's somehow immune to it. What he wouldn't give to be special like that; to have a connection to the world that's more than whatever this life is.

Jacob inhales a deep breath and then jumps, submerging himself into the water. His skin prickles but there is no pain. He can't feel anything. The water curls around him and if he hadn't seen it or known what he'd done, he'd feel like he's swimming through thick air. It's only as he's pulling himself from the water that he realizes how stupic that had been. He can't feel but his fingers and lips are blue from the cold.

Just because he can't feel it, doesn't mean it isn't there.

BACK TO NORMAL: GARRY's CARPENTRY

[Just south of the Market District is an open air carpentry shop where Jacob has been working for the last month. It's been two days since he has awoken from his gruesome death but he was back to work, with a set of earbuds in his ears and a small cord trailing down his back to his butt pocket. The music drowns his thoughts as well as the bustle of the market street beyond the shop.

Garry, the shop's owner, was looking over the books and greeting those who walked by with a friendly grin. He was an older man with a gray head and a well built form. Since Jacob has proven his worth as a carpenter, he has been delegating more work to the young man and has been picking up more orders than the month before.

Jacob is wearing a pair of blue jeans and his usual work boots. His shirt has been discarded despite the fall chill, revealing a simple silver cross that rests against his clavicle.

He doesn't stop working. As the day turns to night, Jacob can be found at the shop. Even after the moon begins its accent into the night sky, when Garry is gone and the shop is closed. Jacob stops focusing on orders and can be found sitting on a stool with a small piece of wood and a simple carving knife. He doesn't want to sleep and makes no attempts to head home until he's too exhausted to think.

[ooc: Quote is from Metallica.]

Comments

Harbor

[skyward_eyes]

[Nida had been out seeking his seal idiot friend. His seadiot if you would. A quality portmanteau. Yeah yeah, someone can judge him for it later. But there it is anyway, him wandering the shore, letting Siren sing in his head to the sounds of the waves crashing. Until she hears something he shouldn't hear. It's cold, too cold for a normal person to swim in the harbor for now. Before Nida can help himself he's running down the way, trying to find where whoever went in, dropping his weapon behind him because he's ready to dive in and haul someone out.

Except they're already climbing out as he gets there. And Nida can't help the roar of fury that comes over him.]

You idiot! Hyne take your damn fool head!

[Once he's close he's pulling his coat off.]

Out of those pants now. Take this coat. You're so lucky Ignis is a source of fire magic you moron!

[Speaking off the spell he's calling one into the air near Jacob to try and dry him off some and drive out the chill. It is going to take a lot.]

Harbor

[brotherofagod]

[Jacob looks up as drops of water gather at the end of his hair. His skin prickles with signs of the cold but he shows no indication that he is cold. It's only the slight blue of his lips and the pale hue of his skin that gives any indication of his current state.]

Hyne?

[He asks, his voice horas.]

I feel fine. [Jake isn't sure it's a good idea to take off his pants around Nida. He's been thinking a lot about what Nida had told him and being aware of his situation only made certain reactions worsen. Besides, he needs his blood to go to other limbs.

He turns his attention towards the fire that Nida calls. Once again, he can't feel anything and without thinking, he reaches towards the light.]

[skyward_eyes]

There is no way you feel fine. You're blue in the lips!

[He'll ignore the question of religion for right now, reaching out quickly to snatch Jacob's hand away from the fading flames.]

Are you a fucking idiot? You could BURN yourself!

[yep, he's an idiot. Nida curses and just throws his coat over the man's shoulders.]

Why must the men in my life be idiots so Hyne damned always?

[brotherofagod]

Are they?

[He moves slowly, lightly dragging the tips of his fingers across his lips. No matter what he does... he can't feel anything. It's strange and it makes it feel as if he's disconnected from the world around him. Nothing feels real.] Are you sure?

I didn't know it was real. It doesn't feel warm. I don't feel cold.

[Jacob looks up at Nida and furrows his brow.]

I don't know what's happening. [He keeps the coat in place though he has to hold it with one hand to make sure that it isn't moving. It's a strange sensation like he's holding onto a thin strip of air but he's sure that it's there. He can smell the coat and sense it near him.]

[skyward_eyes]

[Something is wrong. Very wrong. And Nida looks momentarily scared. All of his yelling is replaced with concern.]

I'm taking you home, Jacob, where you're going to be safe, okay?

[brotherofagod]

[Something is wrong but Jacob finds it hard to believe. It isn't possible that he's lost his sense of touch. He knows what he'd been told upon waking up but it all feels like a dream; not real. There is nothing that signifies that this is really happening.]

Huh?

[He snaps from his thoughts and finally recognizes Nida's worried expression.]

yeah. Of course. Sorry. I just, are you sure I'm not dreaming?

[Even as he speaks, he is moving to follow at Nida's side.]

[skyward_eyes]

I'm certain. And if you don't keep yourself cautious, I'm going to carry you.

[Neither of them need that, but Nida truly is considering it.]

We're going to have to fill you with warm food at drink. What happened? Why were you in the water?

[brotherofagod]

[Jacob snorts and shakes his head.]

Please don't. I don't think I could take it. Besides, my legs still work. [Though if they had stopped working, Jacob isn't sure he'd notice.]

I went swimming. I thought I'd feel something but I didn't. I probably should have waited for Caelan or something. He's the better swimmer.

[skyward_eyes]

Don't think you could take it? What, am I just that pretty?

[He's worried, when he's worried he panics. But swimming upsets him. A lot.]

It's winter. You could have DIED, Jacob. And Caelan being a better swimmer won't help you in most of the time.

[brotherofagod]

[Jacob snorted a half laugh without meaning too.] Yeah. Not because I'd be carried through the city. [It doesn't matter who is carrying him, it's embarrassing.]

It's fall. [He corrects gently.] I used to swim in the fall. When I was a kid. I didn't think this would be different. I thought I could shock my system... make it- reset or something...

[Jacob feels himself trying to explain, wanting Nida to understand. It isn't that he has a death wish. At least, not anymore. He's just trying to figure this out. Dying had jarred him more than he'd expected.]

[areasontohope]

Yuki had heard of people dying from the bear attacks and Jacob had been one of the ones he'd found out had passed. During that time he didn't look to meet Miss Yuna or do anything with the Gullwings. He just sort of sat around in his apartment and cried. Somehow he'd escaped the attack but his friend hadn't been so fortunate. And for that he somehow felt guilty.

But finally he decided to get some flowers and at least bring it by the Carpentry shop to do a sort of goodbye thing after hours, to leave them there without being seen. He'd even managed to find a shop selling incense too and that's when he headed over.

When he arrived, he did a double take and he looked again. Was that..Jacob? No, the grey eyes were seeing things and he checked again. Finally, he decided maybe he was seeing a ghost, and tried anyway, clutching the dark crimson roses, dark pink roses and a few sweet peas. (Mourning, thankfulness & good-bye, departure, thank you)

"Jacob?"

[brotherofagod]

Jacob couldn't hear over the sounds of his I-pod but he felt a prickle against his skin. It wasn't like someone was touching him but looking at him. It was a familiar feeling and it sent a discordant shiver down his spine.

His head rose and he relaxed when he saw that it was Yuki. "Hey." Popping the earbuds from his ears, he drapes the white cord over his shoulders. "What's up?" His voice was horas but otherwise he seemed just as he always did.

Jacob's eyes dropped to the flowers. "Are you going somewhere with those?" He honestly didn't expect that they might be for him.

[areasontohope]

Yuki could've been knocked over with a feather when the man responded and had taken his earbuds out. So he stared and blinked a few times, not knowing what to do or what to say.

What did you say to a person who had passed away? And on top of that was acting as if nothing had happened? So he continued to just stare and blink, wanting to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't seeing or hearing things or dreaming. And he couldn't push any words out at all to Jacob's question which probably appeared to be very rude.

The conversation turned to the flowers and now he had..to explain..those. The grey head lowered and his face turned red as he tried not to sound upset.

"I heard..what happened and I bought.." Yuki's voice trailed off at hearing the sorrow creep into it which he was trying to avoid. "I bought them for you." He took a hitched breath and wasn't sure how to hand them over but he laid them across his hands and held them out, hoping his hands weren't shaking like they felt they were doing.

[brotherofagod]

"Hey." Jake stepped forward and gently took both the flowers and Yuki's trembling fingers. "It's okay." He smiled and tried to catch Yuki's gaze. "I'm here." He didn't know how to console the young man. He wasn't sure how he felt about his own death yet but he felt the need to do something.

"Come here. I have something I wanted to give you too." Jacob released Yuki's hand, placing the floors on the workbench before grabbing something that rested just out of view.

A moment later, Jacob placed a small hand-carved tree into Yuki's palm. It was a cherry tree, carved from a light red wood that almost appeared pink when inspected in the dim light. The trunk of the tree was smooth with each petal carved out with strenuous care. "This is the only one I've done so far but what do you think. Oh, it's for you. To keep."

[areasontohope]

Grey eyes stared hard into Jacob's eyes, not even meaning to. "I.." He tried to tell him that he was okay especially now that the other was back. Tried and failed because nothing came out though he really fought to make an effort. This man had been the soul of kindness itself to walk around with him and be a friend and the next thing Yuki knew he was gone, just like that.

But the flowers had been accepted or maybe his mind hallucinated it when his hand was let go. And then the tree was placed in it and grey eyes blinked several times at it dumbfoundedly. "Oh..you..you finished it."

He hoped there was a grateful smile on his face as he pulled back and stood up, trying to not crowd the man because personal space and breathing room was important. So he bowed slightly to try and be polite and cover the emotions he was going through.

"Thank you so much, you did..a wonderful job."

[brotherofagod]

"Yeah. It's the first one I have done." He had wanted Yuki's to be the first though that wasn't a desire he found that he could put into words. It's just a feeling and one that he can't ignore. "Thanks."

Jacob inspects Yuki more closely and he feels his expression fall. "Are you sure that everything is okay? You look pale." He glances back at the shop and yearns for the distraction of work but he doesn't feel as if he can avoid this. Jacob knows what has Yuki worried, it's obvious, but that doesn't mean that he is ready to face it. Not after everything that's happened.

Words make everything feel so real.

"Let's sit by the back table. We will not be bothered and we can..." He pauses awkwardly. "Talk." As best as he can.

Jacob gently takes Yuki's hand as well as the flowers and guides him towards the back area of the open shop. It isn't complete out of view but it offers them some privacy to speak.

[areasontohope]

The questions caught him off guard as Yuki had really meant to turn around and walk away. Funny thing was that his feet wouldn't obey him no matter what he tried to tell himself mentally. He'd probably stood there too long looking like an idiot and he wanted to apologize. But instead he tried to pass it off.

"Yes..of course.."

But then Jacob offered to have them talk and Yuki was hesitating. He didn't want to take up anymore of the man's time, the flowers had been accepted, the man was here, he was real and it was time to go. Except the 'go' ended up having his hand taken and led to the table.

Why was he so nervous?

[brotherofagod]

He looked shocked. It was an expression and reaction that Jacob had seen once before... when he'd first been reunited with his sister. The memories stung but he wanted to help Yuki recover. Something was wrong and Jacob got the feeling that it was his fault.

"Are you okay?" Jacob guided Yuki down to a seat and grabbed the glass of water that he regularly refilled while working. "Here. If you don't mind sharing. It's water."

[areasontohope]

Was he okay? No, not by a long shot. Seeing someone back from the dead and now breathing in front of him, on top of his hand being held, was just a whole bunch of not even close.

"I..I'm fine." Yuki replied shaking his head. He felt more and more like an idiot the more this went on. But he really didn't want to go and so his eyes just followed the man as he refilled the water and slid it over to him. That distracted the silver haired man for about a moment and he kept telling himself to just stand up and leave already.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so rude and take up more of your time. I'm sure you're busy so I should just let you get back to work." Finally he stood up without tripping and nodded. "Thank you for the tree, it's beautiful."

Back to Normal

[soulsword]

The incident with the bear had stirred unfamiliar emotions within Illyana. For the briefest of moments she had considered that perhaps what she was feeling was guilt. That thought was quickly banished the recesses of her mind as something she simply had no desire to look at too hard. Guilt was not an emotion she could even remember having felt since being brought back. In fact, there were some that made claims that she was incapable of feeling that. It would certainly be easier if those people had been right.

For now though, she found herself fully dedicated to avoiding any emotions. Instead she wandered around the Market District, staying out even as the moon begins to rise and the shops all close down. She watched with disinterest as the workers closed up their businesses and returned to their homes. That is until she noticed that there was still someone in one of the shops despite it having closed for the day. Sitting outside a carpentry shop working past closing was Jacob.

"What are you working on so late?" She had on a decidedlygothic looking outfit that seemed to match the somber mood most people were in currently.

Back to Normal

[brotherofagod]

Jacob was in a similar situation. It wasn't entirely guilt. A menagerie of emotions throbbed in his chest but he was doing everything he could do ignore them and pretend that they didn't exist. Emotions made everything more complicated and Jacob couldn't trust how he felt because what he truly felt was horrible.

He glanced up at Illyana and flashed her a smile. Jake was very good at pretending to be okay; if not happy then content. "I don't have anywhere else to be or anything else to do. So I figured that I'd work on my side project." He looked her up and down and his smile became a little more genuine. "Nice outfit." The goth look suited her.

"Where are you headed? Most of the stores around here are closed."

[soulsword]

She returned his flash of a smile with one awkward half smile of her own. There was no hiding how uncomfortable she was with smiling, especially when it was clearly exceptionally forced.

"What is the project?" There was genuine curiosity in the question. It reminded her of her brother; as an artist he was always working on something. For just a second she shifted awkwardly at the compliment and looked down. "Thank you." That was the right response, was it not? Perhaps she should have just ignored it.

"I had no particular destination in mind. I hadn't realized how late it had become."

[brotherofagod]

It was awkward but they were both awkward, so it worked out fairly well. "Oh. I am trying to give people a little bit of home. I don't know what Limbo is like but I did make you something. It isn't done yet." Jacob pulls one of the small pieces of wood from the counter and holds it out in his palm for Illyana to see. It was a small figure of an open faced flower, carved from a black wood with white veins twisting through it. It was still roughly carved but the shape was obvious.

"I thought you'd like the color and the flower made me think of you." He skipped over the compliments, seeing that it made her feel uncomfortable. It wasn't any less untrue but he wasn't going to keep making her feel uncomfortable.

"Same. I was just trying to keep myself busy and it got late."

[soulsword]

She blinked and put her hands behind her back as she looked at the carved object he was working on. It was certainly strange to think of someone making something for her of all people. Yet, there was no denying it also stirred a pleasant feeling inside of her. Though, the feeling was unfamiliar and made her feel somewhat uncomfortable. She shifted and offered him an awkward sort of smile.

"That is kind of you..." she was not certain what else to say. "I...had a teacher in Limbo, Ororo. She was proficient in white magic. Her power was so great that she was able to create a garden even in Limbo. The flowers there were the most beautiful ones I had ever seen." As a child she had been mystified by how such beautiful delicate things could be created in the hellish landscape of Limbo. What he was making reminded her greatly of that and she felt a surge of sadness inside that she tried to push down.

"Piotr would say you have talent. He would be most impressed," she said in an attempt to change the subject. "Is there something you are trying to keep from thinking on?" Usually that was why people kept busy, wasn't it?

[brotherofagod]

"So I was right. This flower does suit you." Jacob felt himself smile before giving his expression permission to move. "She sounds amazing." It made him think of his sister, who had created an entire forest underground simply because she missed the outside world while in hiding.

"It isn't done yet but when it is, I'll drop it by. I can't paint or anything, so it'll just be a piece of wood but I hope you like it." It was a present, something that he hoped might cheer her up. He understood the weight that each person carried and even without knowing what her story was, he wanted to help ease her discomfort.

Jacob smiled bashfully and glanced behind him at the tool bench. "I don't know if this is impressive. It's- yeah, it's that. I'm just trying not to think about the um Bear and some other things... so I gave myself a pretty complicated project. I can show you all the pieces I messed up." He'd have to show her because they barely looked like flowers.