[Anonymous Network Post]

[legacy_blade]

Alright all, I have a question. And things like this used to work back home for getting advice. So maybe it will work here too.

So there's this whole thing where I've got this romantic history with the sweetest, kindest, most patient and wonderful young woman ever. She might be perfect. Like, as perfect as a woman could ever be. And I don't wanna put expectations on that. But she really is all of those things.

And then I was gone for a while and there was this whole thing where I spent a long time caring about and for this guy. He's so wonderful. Sunny and inspiring, even if he won't see it in himself. Maybe I sorta started realizing I care for him too. Which is really awkward because I really do love said perfect woman. But I think that maybe if I didn't know her I'd probably have figured out that he's amazing a lot sooner?

Then there's me. I've failed the guy and the gal in the past. Sorta let them down and left them alone. Not intentionally mind you. Anyway, they grew kinda close while I was gone. And now I'm not sure if I'm in the way of them. Or if I'm in the way of me.

I'm just making my own life complicated thinking about this, aren't I?

Comments

Anonymous

[stealerofhearts]

(Boy it's nice to know this is possible.)

I don't think you're getting in your own way or in their way. Have you talked to either of them about how you feel about them now that they three of you are here?

[legacy_blade]

[He managed to stumble into it.]

I mean, I try but when we hang out I'm so caught up in them and making them smile and just basking that talking about stuff gets difficult?

[stealerofhearts]

Have you tried roleplaying? I could give you a hand.

[legacy_blade]

What's Roleplaying?

[stealerofhearts]

So, you pretend that you're talking to one of them, but you're actually saying it to me, sort of a sounding board.

[legacy_blade]

Does something like that even work?

[stealerofhearts]

It could help you find the right wording?

[legacy_blade]

I don't know that there's right words. Because I don't think he even likes guys?

[stealerofhearts]

How do you know?

[legacy_blade]

I mean, I don't? But it's not something you TALK ABOUT.

[stealerofhearts]

It sounds like you want to talk about it.

[legacy_blade]

I mean clearly, I'm ASKING for help and all that.

[neurotoxicity]

So you have feelings for two people at the same time? That's always complicated. Why do you think you failed them?

[legacy_blade]

I guess I do. Didn't even realize it until recently and I'm scared that I can lose them both.

Oh man, that's complicated. I died.

Anonymous

[cetrary]

You know I think a lot of problems people end up having come from them assuming things. Sounds like you all might benefit from talking some?t

Re: Anonymous

[legacy_blade]

I don't know if I'm assuming things or not. But I don't know how to talk about it and not upset them.

[cetrary]

I'd say thinking you might upset them by talking is kinda assuming, isn't it? I think I understand though. There are two people I should talk to but I'm also afraid of upsetting them. I haven't figured out what to do yet myself other than overthink it when I'm alone.

[legacy_blade]

I guess it might be. They're just the most important people to me and I don't want to let them down by being really weird, you know?

See, that's what I'm doing right now. Overthinking while I'm alone. Except I'm terrible at that. Really wish Kuns was here. He would help me figure this out so fast.

[cetrary]

I might be biased because I happen to like really weird. Which means I could never be let down by someone being weird.

What do you think Kuns would tell you to do if he was here? You could pretend you were talking to him! Sometimes I do that even if it seems kinda silly.

[legacy_blade]

Weird just means not normal and that's fine.

I don't know. He's a lot smarter than me. Like, TONS. They all are.

[cetrary]

I like that explanation! I think I'm going to use it. Not normal really is fine. I didn't always think so, but I've come around.

You sound like your problem may be you put yourself down too much.

[legacy_blade]

Not normal is actually probably more normal, you know?

Wow, I'm not putting myself down. But my mentor taught me to be aware of what my failings are, and what areas I need to compensate for. And this is a compensation area.

[cetrary]

You think so? I guess that would make sense.

Oh, hm, it sure sounded a lot like you were putting yourself down...but maybe I was wrong. I'm sorry. It's good to know what you need to work on, but I dunno, sounded a bit harsh on yourself.

[legacy_blade]

Good. I'm glad it makes sense.

I am sometimes. I worry about stuff like not being good enough. But if you knew them, you'd get it. They're so amazing.

[cetrary]

More than some I think!

What if they think the same about you? I know there's someone here that I think that way about. That I can't possibly be good enough because he's so amazing. What if you're both thinking the same things?