Just to Lose Control

[bufus]

Who; Mitsuru + OTA
What; Someone made a wish and it's negatively impacting Mitsuru's control of her persona.
Where; The Market
When; 3/15 towards market closing time
Warnings; Bit of violence and mention of child experimentation

From the moment Mitsuru had manifested her Persona she had always had the ability to control her. Which, for a child, was rather impressive. After all the first manifestation had come during a time that should have caused her great stress. Instead, she had simply acted on instinct to try to protect her Father. Much of her life had changed after that moment with a great deal of pressure being placed upon her for her families actions. Now that this gift of hers had been revealed she had been expected to use it, to hone it, and to allow experimentation on it.

And she had done so without question or protest. Quite the opposite really, she'd been more than happy to help in any way she could. The Dark Hour and all the consequences that came with it had been the result of her family and as such it was their duty to correct it. That had been her motto since she was a little girl. Penthesilea had stood by her side through all of this. Fighting with her as she tried to navigate the disaster that had come from her own grandfather's hands. Her strength and level of control had only increased when she had evolved into Artemisia. It was something she'd grown accustomed to, something she was proud of, and suddenly something she was struggling with.

She wasn't certain when it happened. At some point while shopping she had found herself with a pounding headache. Her usual pale complexation had gone even whiter as she walked holding onto the small bag of fruit she'd picked up earlier. She stopped several times to put a hand on her head as she tried to figure out what precisely was going on.

"Merde," she whispered to herself. "What is...Artemisia?!"

Out of nowhere the Persona appeared. Summoning in the market of all places was something she would never do. Not only was Artemisia large but her particularly ice abilities could be quite destructive. Which was precisely the problem now. Artemisia took her chain whip into her hands and ice began to form around her and nearby stalls. Cracking and popping could be heard as the ice began to weigh on the structures, causing a few stalls to fracture.

Mitsuru desperately tried to pull her back but instead the Persona turned to Mitsuru herself, wrapping the whip around her neck. She thrashed and tried to gasp for air much to no avail. As dizziness hit her harder and harder she felt like she was slipping into unconsciousness. A thing that turned out to be a positive as it caused the renegade Persona to dissipate. Leaving Mitsuru a crumbled mess on a melting patch of ice in the market.

Comments

[bufubulous]

Yusuke was out and about himself, on his way to pick up some art supplies to replace a few things that had run out or needed replacing. The teen was honestly a little wary of his interactions of late, given some of the weirder things that had happened as the season changed from winter to spring. The crabbiness of people was both understandable and strange when it got to particular levels… But he had also already witnessed some weird things in relation to the things that these extra snappy people had said. Comments meant to simply express frustration, not meant seriously in most ways, were being taken rather literally by… Well, whatever powers were involved.

So he was doing his best to not say anything particularly thoughtless that might have more meaning than one would expect and hoping that other people would do the same. He was pretty sure he hadn’t helped one person who had said something and things got more than a little confusing, so he focused on things he could help with. Dealing with the wererat problem and other such things.

Thoughts of his shopping list go out of his head though when he hears a commotion not far from where he was, and he turned quickly to look and see what was going on. Once he pinpointed where the sounds were coming from, he took off at a run… Only to skid to a halt as he sees the aftermath of Artemisia running rampant. “Mitsuru!” Comes out in a shocked exclamation as it’s clear her own persona is meaning to do her harm, and worry grips him as she crumbled to the ground in the market once her persona disappeared.

Hurrying the rest of the way, ducking around the odd person who had also beheld the scene, he crouched by her side and tried to get an idea of how badly she was hurt…

[bufus]

For a few seconds Mitsuru could only fear a sense of both panic and fear rushing through her. Nothing like that had ever happened to her before. Artemisia had certainly never done anything like that to her before. Had she been able to see more clearly she might have been concerned about the ice still clinging to the ground and the damage that had been done by her own mind. Yet, she struggled to see much of anything in her current state. In the distance she heard murmuring, perhaps locals trying to discern what had happened for themselves as they hurried away from the scene.

Slowly her mind started to clear itself and she realized the murmuring wasn't 'in the distance' as she had thought but rather that it was all coming from people who had been relatively close. Luckily there'd been no damage to any living beings aside from Mitsuru herself. She blinked her eyes slowly as she registered someone kneeling by her. There were few visible signs that anything had happened: a frost bitten mark around her neck and a few red spots on her face. Her own breathing was shallow and shaky and when she spoke her voice cut in and out before finally steadying.

"I'm fine, I think. Has anyone else been injured?" It finally had occured to her that something terrible had happened, something she'd caused and something she was completely and utterly confused about.

[bufubulous]

Yusuke watched as she seemed to come around, between being strangled and the shock of her own persona going out of control like that… It was a lot to deal with at once. He wished briefly that he had something to offer for the mark around her neck. That had to be painful, after all. But perhaps they could get something once she’d properly come around. He wanted to ask what on earth had happened, beyond the obvious, though that could wait until she was recovered somewhat.

Her question seemed more important to answer first, after all, for hew own peace of mind. He shook his head quickly. “I don’t believe there’s been anything serious a couple stalls might need light repairs but otherwise I didn’t note anything pressing. You yourself seemed to have suffered the brunt of the attack when…” Artemisa turned on her. Yusuke doesn’t say it. It seems a poor choice to state the obvious at the moment. He offered a hand. “Here, let me help you up when you’re ready.” He added, wanting to ask more but wanting to make sure she was steady first.

[bufus]

"A relief at least." That was a small favor to learn. One thing that utterly terrified her was the idea that she might unintentially have brought harm to another. "I never wanted to deal with a Persona being unleashed and harming another again." Even if it had not been her own Persona she had still paid witness to it. Not simply that, she'd also been a part in hiding the actions after they had occured. That all on it's own had brought it's own set of unique and complicated feelings within herself. To this day she still believed it was the best course of action, despite also realizing that it had led to unfortunate and unforeseen consequences.

She took his hand and stood up, a bit unsteady at first, but she seemed to right herself fairly well. "Thank you, I appreciate the hand up."

[bufubulous]

It was a small blessing, considering the capabilities of a persona… But his focus was on her for the moment. The fact that she’d seen this before, though, was a particularly odd thing to note… “This has happened before, then?” He didn’t know much about her or the rest of her group, though, beyond what she’d told him already. But it did sound like some things were quite different. After all, perhaps there were some things that weren’t quite so easy to share or speak of.

“Think nothing of it. I’m glad I was nearby.” He responded, helping her back to her feet carefully and keeping an eye to make sure she was steady. “We should get this looked to, though. It looks rather severe.” He commented with a small gesture to the frostbitten mark around her neck with a frown.

[bufus]

"Not to me, no but..." she trailed off and awkwardly wrapped an arm around herself and looked down. It really wasn't her place to reveal things about someone else that was here, particularly when Shinjiro already held so much guilt for it. There was at least something small she could add without bringing him up any further though. "There was a group that were given Persona artificially. Perhaps I've mentioned it," she still didn't look up and still wasn't entirely certain if she had. "They were, unfortunately, unable to control them. One of them was almost killed by hers in quite a similar way. There was also someone who came into theirs naturally, but they were also unable to completely control theirs and it...well, it resulted in someone else's death." It was vague, but it also managed to at least give some explanation for what might be going on.

"Never me though," she shook her head and then winced as a short amount of pain shot through her head. Was that her Persona causing that or just the after effects of whatever had been going on? "I'm also glad you were nearby and grateful you weren't injured." She frowned at his suggestion and shook her head gently this time, not wanting to cause any further pain for herself. "It's quite alright. I'll be fine." The last thing she wanted to do was burden anyone with caring for her like that. Or cause any further trouble. Even if she did realize he was right, she should be looked at by someone.

[bufubulous]

(ooc: I have the memory of a goldfish and had to go through some of my threads because I know she told one of my characters about this but it was Waver, so I think this is new news to Yusuke! )

So when she said she’d dealt with it before… She meant it hadn’t been her own, but someone else. Yusuke’s expression took on a slightly confused, surprised expression. “I don’t believe you have, no. I hadn’t realized that such a thing could be done?” He responded with a light frown. It didn’t seem entirely impossible, though. A persona was a reflection of your inner self, a part of you given form. Anyone could, in theory, have one… But to trigger a manifestation of that artificial did sound rather dangerous. The manifestation of a persona naturally was always rather… Chaotic. Emotions running high, the situation is usually fairly dire… And the aftereffects, the fatigue from the sudden event and strain of the situation. How much worse would it be to force it to happen? “Given the nature of persona, I suppose that it’s unsurprising that they wouldn’t be so easily controlled if the person did not come to form a contract naturally.” So it kind of sounded horrible, honestly.

The fact that Mitsuru had never had this happened to her personally, though, is a concern. What triggered it now? “Is there something that can be done to help with whatever might have caused your control to slip?” Because if someone else had nearly died in a similar fashion, it seemed fairly important to get this sorted for Mitsuru’s sake. When she winced, Yusuke put a hand out on her shoulder to offer something to steady her if she felt faint again, concerned that the nature of what happened might also have put more of a strain on her than the obvious. “It certainly is not fine. That looks like frostbite. It should be treated, even if we can only do so with traditional means.” He responded with a more serious tone, not about to let a friend go walking around with an untreated injury. It would be entirely careless!

[bufus]

She bit down on her lip and looked away. It was something she was exceptionally reluctant to talk about so it hardly surprised her she'd never brought up or eluded to it with him. Not only was he a fellow Persona user but he was also someone from her own world, even if it was a slightly different time in it. There was something extra shameful about knowing he knew of the Kirijo group and then having to admit to the kinds of things they had done. "It shouldn't be. Unfortunately my grandfather was too blinded by his own ambitions to realize the harm it could cause. The Kirijo group carried out the experiments on orphans. They were able to produce results but in order to control them they had to take medication, also created by the group." Unfortunately, said medication also resulted in them slowly dying. Which added another layer to an already terrible situation. From his expression and tone she could tell he probably understood the weight of how dangerous artificial Persona creation was. Even the awakening of her own person had been rather high octane. Inducing it artificially was truly a terrible thing.

"The only thing to help were the pills created by the group back home and I certainly would not be willing to use those. Not..." with the complications. she stopped herself and shook her head. "Something must have happened here. Perhaps one of those strange events?" But what? She hadn't been paying nearly enough attention lately to know what was going around. She smiled at his hand on her, though it was strained, and she tried her best to keep herself steady. "If you insist then I suppose arguing will only strain me further."

[bufubulous]

How terrible… It tugged at a particular part of his mind to even consider. Orphans being used by someone for someone’s own ambitions… Yusuke couldn’t help but wonder if her grandfather, so blinded by his ambitions and desires, might have had a palace of his own back then. That said, now was not the time or place to discuss such things… Plus, explaining what he and his group did could prove difficult, and people had varying opinions on what was right or wrong.

“So even after going through the awakening, artificially forced as it was, they never gained proper control without the use of of this medication.” Which… stood to reason. The manifestation of a persona seemed to only be triggered under specific conditions, even among his group they all shared a commonality. While anyone could have a persona, it seemed unlikely to awaken one without those conditions… Unless forced, apparently. He opened his mouth to continue, wanting to ask if the medication in question would help… But she continued and made it rather ominously clear that she wouldn’t be willing to take it if she had access to it. “I presume that would mean this medication was not a perfect solution to the problem then…” He finally ended with a frown. So much for a temporary solution to the issue until they figured this out.

“Knowing the nature of this world and how things seem to happen? It seems like a strong possibility… So if this is not a complication that has developed with your persona naturally, it may be a result of some shift in this world.” He shook his head a little, think about some of the oddities that had happened recently beyond just this experience. “I had a rather odd experience with a friend who was suddenly different and didn’t know me… So perhaps this is something like that. What did you last remember before it happened?”

There was some relief as she decided to not argue further. The teen didn’t want to upset her but… Well, he wasn’t alright with leaving a friend injured. Besides that, if something happened again and Mitsuru needed to be defended from her persona? It would be best if someone capable of matching against a persona were present. “Good, let us see to this while we speculate on how to proceed.” He agreed, looking for somewhere she could sit while he fetched something they could use. Perhaps a nearby shop or stall had some kind of first aid kit…

[doubled_speed]

Shouts of fear, the sound of chaos, suddenly appearing ice and really large creepy blue and gold ladies with whips? This was absolutely where a seventeen year old Tommy belonged. Problem was he didn't even notice it was happening until it was basically too late.

It did mean he arrived just in time for Mitsuru to fall, and immediately he was at her side, between one moment and the next, his hand on her shoulder.

"You okay? Do you need a doctor? I can get you to one."

sorry for slow replies I've been eternally sick

[bufus]

Even amongst the chaos of all that was going on she still found herself momentarily wondering where he'd come from. It took a few seconds for her to connect the dots back to his own ability and she blinked a few times, trying to will the pain away. That was easier said than done though and she didn't respond for a few seconds. Eventually though she did manage to nod ever so slightly. A bad idea given how her head was swimming though.

"I, yes, I'm alright." She looked around, clearly trying to assess if she'd actually harmed anyone with whatever sort of strange outburst that had been. Once she'd seen it was mostly just frightened people and damaged stalls she let out a tiny sigh. "That won't be necessary, I don't want to cause any further trouble for anyone." Not that she shouldn't be looked at, she probably should, but Mitsuru was the type to always try to put herself as a bottom priority.

[doubled_speed]

Yeah, he's about as willing to fall for that as any person who's ever been on a super hero team and watched their friends downplay injuries.

"When someone passes out, they should see a doctor."

Which is hypocritical to say because he would never agree to see one himself.

[bufus]

"It's passed, perhaps, for now. I'd hate to cause anyone else further problems today. Or to waste their time." It did occur to her that she was doing precisely that by arguing though. So, she sighed. "However, if you insist then I suppose I would just be wasting both of our time to continue to argue, wouldn't I?" Ah, now she felt a bit foolish there. "I'm not entirely certain how something like this happened. Perhaps a doctor or someone would have an idea."

[doubled_speed]

"I've always got time. Especially for you," he says, offering her what was clearly meant to be a winning smile. What can he say, he's got a thing for hot, capable women.

"Any chance you know where a doctor is?"

[bufus]

"Thank you," she gave him a weak smile in return. "That's very charming of you to say." Even Mitsuru could recognize that.

She scrunched her eyebrows up thoughtfully.

"Perhaps the alchemist? Grave Concoctions? They might at the very least know something."

[doubled_speed]

Of course it is. He's awesome.

"What's an alchemist?"

Yeah, he's got no idea what's going on there.

[bufus]

"The potions maker. I've only been in it a few times so I'm not entirely certain how helpful it will be." Perhaps there was some other better option but at the moment her head felt as though it were a bit too fuzzy to think of it.

[castoredux]

He wasn't the most in control guy you'd find. Ever since Shinjiro had first summoned his Persona, he'd been trapped in a constant battle of wills with the thing. It had always seemed like a metaphor for himself, which was poignant in that it was a part of him. Did it imply he didn't have control over himself or did it say something else? He hadn't spent too much time pondering it, really, though more than once recently he'd watched Mitsuru practicing or idly using her powers and wished he could use his with such precision.

It was better now than it had been when he'd had to resort to drugs to keep it in check, but only marginally. At least Castor didn't try to kill him most days. He could almost be normal.

In fact, he was making his way to the market to get some supplies for dinner when Artemisia manifested in the middle of the market. He reacted before he thought, rushing to her side as the Persona sought to choke the life out of her, but she as gone before he made it there.

He had his arms around her, checking for breathing, even as he was coming to a stop.

"Mitsuru? Hey, can you hear me?"

[bufus]

Her breathing was quick, clearly a bit panicked, but slowing down slightly as the adrenaline from whatever had just happened had begun to quiet down. Nothing about this made sense and her thoughts were rushing rapidly through her mind. They were like puzzle pieces, as if there was a picture that would explain this all to be found somewhere in her mind and yet she couldn't quite put it all together.

But there was a voice speaking to her and she tried to nod at the question. It was a weak and barely noticeable one, but it'd existed all the same.

"I can. I'm sorry, I don't..." she shook her head again. She didn't know what had come over her. That was what she had intended to say, yet she'd stopped just shy of saying it.

[castoredux]

"Artemisia attacked you." That's what she was struggling to say, and she was as confused as he was about it. For all the time he'd known her, Mitsuru had never lost control, not once. She was always perfect, commanding, and level-headed. He was the one who couldn't rein in his Persona sometimes, who was locked in a constant battle of wills with it.

He...hadn't felt that pressure in his mind at all today, either. Was this some new weird shit happening in this place? He shook his head, set on worrying about that later. Right now, what was important was making sure Mitsuru was alright.

"Look at me. Are you okay?"

[bufus]

"Yes, though that shouldn't be possible," she said shaking her head. While she did know she had doubts now and then, particularly in this place with so much that was unfamiliar, it was nothing enough to question the core of her identity.

The question was a loaded one, the truth was no she certainly was not okay. Not just from the physical injury and shock of it all but also because this made no sense to her at all. This wasn't something that should happen to her of all people

"Yes...a bit ashamed at causing such a mess." It really wasn't even that big of a mess but for her standards it was certainly not something she welcomed seeing. Or having been the cause of. "Though..." she winced as her eyes began to hurt. "It's nothing."

[castoredux]

"It ain't 'nothing'." Shinjiro knew first-hand how morale-destroying losing control could be, and he was thankful no one around was hurt. If they had been...well. They hadn't and that was the important thing.

"What's wrong?" She'd winced in pain, and while Castor wasn't a healer, he could at least take care of her.

[bufus]

"It's quite a big deal. I've never lost control like this. For Artemisia to transform I had to accept myself, this..." she shook her head. "It shouldn't be. I know there are things I've found myself conflicted on but nothing that should have resulted in such a scenario. Had others been around someone could have died." The insensitivity of the statement was completely lost on her as the pounding began to increase in her head. It felt as though something was trying to rip through her brain and she tried to squeeze her eyes shut as if that would shut the whispering and pounding up.

The temperature began to drop as her thoughts raced to all of the doubts she'd thought she'd long since reckoned with. Would she be able to redeem the Kirijo Group? Live up to her father's expectations? Was she failing here?

"I waste so much time here on personal pursuits when there's so much we should be looking into. Ways to return home, ways to fully fix this place..." things that were so much more important than learning to cook or create or even her own feelings for Shinjiro. Ah, those feelings. They were wrong in themselves. After all she was part of the reason he was actually dead. Besides that she was a Kirijo, he'd already made it abundantly clear there were things about her status that made him uncomfortable. How could she blame him with how little she knew about what it meant to be a normal individual. Besides, she knew how most saw her: the ice queen. Then there was his friendship with Akihiko and--

As her thoughts reached a climax Artemisia burst forth again, this time with icy whip at the ready, aiming straight towards Shinjiro.

[castoredux]

It was impossible not to think of what happened the night he first lost control. They'd been on a deserted residential street in the middle of the night. Here she was, in the middle of a busy marketplace.

"Yeah, they could've, and it's touch to come back from that." But it... "But it wouldn't be your fault, anyway." Even if they had been hurt. It had taken a really long time to realize that, that it was a terrible thing, but it hadn't been something he'd had control over, either.

"And none of that shit we asked for. You don't stop mattering because you got the power to help others. You got feelings, too." And she'd never been allowed to, not her entire life. He'd be damned if he let that stand in her way. "Maybe you're tired." He had a feeling it wasn't that simple, but it was a place to start.

[bufus]

The words stung for a moment and she looked down awkwardly, feeling the weight of their past suddenly pressing down heavily on her shoulders. "I'm sorry...you shouldn't be having to deal with this at all." Nor should she, it wasn't like her in any way to have these doubts or problems. It was like him though and it hit her that this was unfair for him to see.

"Do I? Most people don't see it that way. I know what people at school refer to me as." She may not have cared but she heard what people said, ice empress, and she knew they weren't precisely wrong. There was a reason for the nature of her persona after all. "I should...I should go somewhere else." That was ironic. The precise thing he'd done when his own persona had gone out of control. Here she was pushing him away, trying to isolate herself, trying to keep it all in.

But it wasn't going to stay in. With her doubts, her isolation, her lack of confidence, and this wish, her persona came out again and she collapsed to the ground. Though this time it turned on Shinjiro directly. Lashing out with her icy whip.