aterat | 007 - From Unlucky to Disaster

Who; Jacob Miller

brotherofagod & You
What; Severe Bad Luck…
Where; Around the City.
When; Any time in June. Specify the date if you wish.
Warnings; Injury, poop jokes, possibly some violent but mostly innocent stuff to accent his bad luck. If you have any ideas of just unlucky situations feel free to wild card it because I need Jake to suffer… because it's funny.

MORNING RUN; ACCIDENTS/MUGGING/CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE OF MISFORTUNE!

His morning runs had taken an interesting turn after adopting the floppy-eared puppy he'd found at the workshop. Despite his odd proportions and tiny legs, Shi was determined to not only follow Jake but keep pace within during his runs. This shouldn't have caused an issue but ever since he'd stolen the motorcycle with Illyana his luck has taken an unfortunate turn.

One morning Shi took a sharp left in front of Jacob's legs, tangling them in Shi's leash before sending the both of them tumbling onto the stone sidewalk. The bruises had barely faded when Shi ran out in front of a Chocobo and Jacob had to quickly dash in front of the running creature to scoop the puppy into his arms, again, landing hard on the stony ground.

After this, Jacob stopped bringing Shi on his runs but his misfortune didn't stop there…

COFFEE/SMOKING & BIRD POOP…

A rich steaming mug of coffee was held carefully in Jacob's hand. He usually filled a larger mug but with all the accidents lately, he decided it was best not to tempt fate.

The morning had gone smoothly. He had walked Yuki to work, gone on his morning run, and, after magically avoiding any accidents, was finally on his way to work. It was a miracle that Jacob still had all of his fingers after the last few weeks but he was determined that things would get better. This absolutely wasn't an unusual circumstance that required intervention.

He turned the corner, making up his mind that this bad luck was all in his head when a bird flew overhead and pooped directly into his mug…

This wasn't his normal bad luck.

HELP! [CLOSED TO HARRY DRESDEN]

He couldn't remain in the great state of denial for too long. Not only was his bad luck affecting his daily life it was beginning to affect those around him. Eventually, Jacob had to admit that it was a curse or possibly some type of magic. It might have been cast by the city but he had a feeling that it had to do with the motorcycle. His troubles had only begun after he'd brought the magical metal contraption into his apartment.

Whatever the cause, it was time to find a cure.

This train of thought brought Jacob to the unfamiliar door in front of him. He hadn't known that there were people here who called themselves wizards but he supposed that this person could at least confirm if there was an outside magical force involved.

With a tired sign and a small puppy waddling around his feet, Jacob knocked on the sturdy wooden door. "Hello? I am looking for a wizard?" That was a weird sentence.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jake's eyebrow raised in a curious arc before taking the cup. It smelled amazing though it was still the weirdest display of her powers that he's ever seen. "And this came out of nowhere?"

Even as he asked he took a sip and felt his insides melt. He didn't need to drink coffee but Jacob loved warm drinks and it was nearly impossible to drink them in the summer. The only time of day he could was in the morning, and so his default in the summer was to drink coffee.

"I'll let the next bird poop on my head instead of in the cup." It was worth it.

Luckily it tasted just as amazing as it smelled despite being magically created. "It came from somewhere." Where was that somewhere? Fair question an one she wouldn't exactly know the answer to. Magic was magic. In some ways she understood where the things she created came from and in other ways she didn't.

"Oh you should have. Then you'd still have your original cup. Instead of wasting it after the bird assault."

"That worries me more." Jacob admitted while taking another sip of the rich dark coffee. It was delicious but he wasn't sure if he was comfortable drinking something that was magically created. He remembered that his sisters creations sometimes disappeared and he hoped that this didn't do that while in his stomach.

That'd suck.

Hopefully it just came from...somewhere.

"Worth it. Fuck that bird." Jake didn't swear a lot but he really didn't like that bird or any bird right now. He'd had too much bad luck these days. "Hey, you noticed anything bad happening or is it just me?"

"Don't worry, you didn't immediately die. That means the imps didn't make it." They might not intend for him to die from something they made, but he probably would. If he thought he was a bad cook he had absolutely nothing on them. It didn't help that they could eat whatever they wanted without worrying about death. Limbo was a hostile place where food was scarce, they took what they could get.

At least he wouldn't have to worry about it disappearing. Though, if she'd thought about it she'd probably have regretted not making it an illusion. There was always next time.

"Maybe it came for you on purpose. Pissed off any birds lately? Maybe you're on their shit list." Did she smirk at her own joke? Yes. She definitely did. "Nothing bad at all. Opposite really." Because she would find this situation of his funny. She would.

Jake snorted. "Gee, thanks." He assumed that she was kidding about death but had no doubt that the imps made terribly coffee. How would they even know what it tasted like? Did imps have taste buds that were similar to humans? Probably not though that train of thought is one that Jake was happy to abandon.

He sighed and looked up at the sky as if something might jump out of him. "Not that I remember but who knows." It really did feel like he was a target for anything bad within a 2 mile radius.

"I've always had bad luck. Feels worse lately." He's trying not to sound angry but he's pissed. "What are you doing out this early anyway?" Jake grinned and then tease. "Sun doesn't burn ya?"

"I know, I'm generous." Might as well pat herself on the back some. Luckily for him she was just kidding about the fear of death. If it was food straight from Limbo it'd potentially be a different story. Luckily for him, it was just something conjured from magic.

"Maybe you didn't realize doing something to offend them and they cursed you." Birds probably couldn't actually curse people, but it was a funny mental image for her to have. A little bird army plotting their curse upon someone who wronged their little bird lives.

"Strange. Maybe you actually are cursed." That one was said with a bit more seriousness behind it. She couldn't really imagine who might have cursed him or why, but one could never tell. She narrowed her eyes at his comment about sunlight. "I'm a sorceress, not a vampire."

Jacob rolled his eyes though the more bad luck he endured, the more he thought it was truly a curse. "Sure they did." He didn't think it was the birds but maybe something else. He'd have to look into it.

"Yeah but I've never seen you out this morning. I figured you like to sleep." He had made an assumption and looked like an ass. Jacob didn't look bothered by his misstep and just kept smiling at Illyana.

Sorceresses could not like the sun.

"You never know," she said with a chuckle. It was probably unlikely, but it was going to be her new favorite theory. He would never convince her otherwise now, good luck with that.

"Maybe I haven't slept yet." That was exactly the reason she was still out: she hadn't slept yet. "Some of us work on things at night."

That did make him wonder. "Wait. So you really don't sleep? Isn't that how people go crazy?" He had been joking but now he was a little worried. Not worried in the traditional sense, worried like 'please-don't-go-crazy-and-do-something-crazy-from-lack-of-sleep.'

Jacob knew for a fact that he couldn't take Illyanna in a fight.

"What happens if you're already crazy?" she asked with the most sincere look she could muster. There were a surprisingly large number of people who would consider Illyana to be very crazy. Back home she'd heard it more times than she could count in a very small amount of time. Sometimes it surprised her that she didn't hear it more here.

He considered it and then shrugged. "Less to do?" It was hard to remain serious. After a moment's, pause he grinned at her and shook his head. "You really are going to make me question everything like this." Jacob scratched the back of his head before glancing down the street.

"I'll be late for work at this rate. Want to lend a guy a hand?" If she's up for teleporting him to Gary's woodshop.

007 - From Unlucky to Disaster

Bird Poop

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