aterat | The detective gives that trip 0/10. Would not visit again

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The detective gives that trip 0/10. Would not visit again

Who; Llewellyn and people
What; 2 Open logs and 1 closed
Where; Assorted
When; All through May
Warnings; Alcohol for a start. I will update accordingly depending on what gets discussed. Update: Brief mention of homophobia and unfair laws of the era in Ignis' thread, discussion of a murder case in thread with Ivy.

( I can also do personalized starters if you want! just let me know either on Discord: WhimsicalSpook#8219 or Plurk:

whimsicalspook You are also welcome to throw a starter at me if you want, I don't bite!)

Finding his way home. - Closed to Rhy

It was late in the evening and footsteps were echoing through the sewers of of the city. Steps unsteady and a little staggered as the man exited the tunnels with a distracted look on his face.

He doesn’t really look particularly different how how he did a week ago when he disappeared. His gaze lightly unfocused as he walked almost on autopilot, his mind a whirl. Less a flock of starlings as he was prone to describing it and more of a tornado, and his emotions running rampant.

There was so much in his head now, too much. It was scrambling to sort what seemed like two very different lives. Almost two years away from home, between the Sphere and this world… And nearly that long suddenly stuffed in his head from his own world, much of it far less pleasant in some ways than the two years he’d come to know away from it.

Leaning against a lamppost, Llewellyn took a deep breath and then another as his eyes finally focused on the world around him. He was back, back in the world he’d come to think of as his home… And after having been back in his world? It had only cemented that feeling, regardless of how powerless and ill prepared he felt when it came to some of the things that happened here… It was better than the gnawing pain and repeated cycle of loss that he felt trapped in.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry in frustration or relief as he stared at the quiet evening around him. Frustration for what he’d gone back to with no memories of this place, or in pure relief for being here again. Regardless, a few stray tears escaped anyway, though he’d deny it if asked.

… He’d deny a few things if asked, honestly.

“I need a drink…” He muttered, wishing to quiet his over-loud, racing thoughts just a little. It had practically been a part of his schedule over the last few months… Drink to quiet the thoughts, drink to numb the feelings that you wish you didn’t have, drink to forget how once again you were alone.

Then, absently, a particular thought rattled into place. Here he wasn’t alone. He had someone waiting for him.

Rhy.

The name comes to the forefront of his mind, and his heart suddenly ached for a different reason. How long had he been gone for? He’d promised not to leave the man, promised to stay by his husband’s side and not leave him to feel so very alone again…

The drink is forgotten for now, and Llewellyn turns in another direction, the correct direction. He wavers on his path once in a while, if only because worry had begun worming its way into his head. Worries of what to say to his husband, worries about what the man would think if he heard some of the last two years. Fear of disappointment, or judgement, or...

Llewellyn squinted at the door before him, the stained glass rose window glowing lightly with light from within. He had made it back without realizing it, so caught up in his own head again.

At first, he almost does the absurd thing, and knocks. Instead, having a small sensible thought break through the confusion, he pulls out his key and lets himself in.

It's an odd feeling as he wandered into the entry hall. Relief sinking in, the wonder of 'this is my home, it's safe here' catches a hold of him lightly. It's not the slightly lonely boarding house room, dim and empty aside from a few personal belongings, wine, and case notes. It's warm, bright, inviting, vibrantly full of life.

There's just one thing left... He wants- needs to see Rhy. Despite the vague anxiety of what on earth he might say, and the fear of how long he might have been gone lingering... He needs to see him. "Rhy?" He spoke as he began moving from one room to another in hopes of searching.

His voice doesn't sound as strong or confident as he'd like, he notes. He needs to fix that when does see his husband.

But it's a start.

Business as usual. - Gullwings or Aerith's shop ~ OTA if anyone wants to try to catch his attention when he's hiding in his work

If there was anything that would never change about Llewellyn, it was his proclivity for choosing avoidance of issues in favor of work. Why dwell and talk about the things in your head when you could be focusing on being productive and useful.

There were plenty of things that needed his attention, after all. There was work to be done at the Gullwings offices. He was a week behind on the smaller cases he'd taken on around the city, and hey- wouldn't it be nice if he tidied his desk a little? Adjust the tornado so it looked a little more...

Well, not better, but as though it had moved around a bit? Maybe a little more centralized on his desk instead of overflowing onto other people's spaces?

Plus, he noted with some confusion, he needed to tidy up the many odd little flowers that had been left on his desk. Llewellyn certainly didn't remember putting them there, and their presence puzzled him some...

Yes, anyone who walked in on seeing him organizing was probably going to wonder if they were hallucinating.

Then there was the flower shop. The detective knew he had time to make up for there, having left Aerith to take care of things by herself so rudely.

They were into the time of year where flowers were blooming and just waiting to be gathered to arrange in vases or baskets. So it wouldn't hurt to give the plants a little extra attention, would it? Especially since she'd allowed him to leave some of his starters to transfer at a later date.

Really, between arrangements waiting to be put together and flowers needing care, there was plenty for him to help with to make up for his absence!

Whether it was the office or the garden shop, there was nothing wrong with putting in a little more time here and there! And it gave him time to catch up with and check on people, which was still a priority at the end of the day.

I'll have that drink now. - The Tavern ~ OTA But warning for excessive drinking

Llewellyn was... adjusting.

Yeah, let's go with that. It sounded better than anything he could come up with. He really just needed time, he was sure. Time to finish sorting all the new thoughts and experiences into their little boxes on a shelf in his mind. Once that was done, he would lose the vague amounts of distraction and the questions of if he was listening or if something was off would stop.

He could do without those, really. He was fine. One hundred percent okay. Just adjusting. Just processing almost two years' worth of information.

Just trying to shake off the paranoia and anxiety that's still lingering from being in my own world. He let out a long breath while he waited for the tavern-keeper to bring him another drink.

Since it was just him and his thoughts? He could admit to himself that... There were some things that were less than fine.

He was tired of looking over his shoulder every time he was with Rhy, worried about some unknown seeing them and bringing danger down on their heads for just walking.

Tired of wondering when he was going to mess things up here, too. Both his personal life and professional life had... developed quite a track record. An annoying voice in the back of his mind kept musing that it might only be a matter of time before the rug got pulled out from under him.

And he was damn tired of the vague, lowered faith in the people around him. Expecting someone to spout some idiocy or opinion that would hurt someone who didn't deserve to be hurt, or even some slight against him when he didn't agree with them.

What happened to the progress he'd made? What happened to the glass being half full instead of half empty?

Another glass of something amber in colour was set in front of him, and idly he mused, 'There's a full glass.' As he pulled it towards him, hoping it might quiet his mind some while he passed some time before going home.

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Rhy doesn't let go. He's never going to let go. He's a barnacle. Sorry, this is the new rule. He's made it and it's just how life works now. WHich is unfair to Pretzel because he needs that chance.

"Where were you? We searched."

Llewellyn was at least agreeable to this new rule, happier to just… soak up the feeling of having Rhy close. A strange, nonsensical thought crossing his mind that if he didn’t let go, he couldn’t be parted from the man again. Pretzel would need attention, of course, but they would find a spot they could all curl up together when the time to move came.

The question derailed his thoughts, though, and for a moment, his grip tightened as he tried to think of what to say. It wasn’t strange to think Rhy had looked for him, but it worried him some to know that. What if something had happened while he was away? He could vaguely remember the talk of dangerous creatures roaming the city before he disappeared. Llewellyn couldn’t stand the thought that something might have happened in his absence, especially to Rhy…

But he needed to answer the question. For all that he wants to just find that quiet place to curl up with Rhy and forget about it. “I’m sorry, my love… I wish I hadn’t worried you- wish I hadn’t gone at all, even if I didn’t have a say in the matter. It seems that something thought I needed to go back to the world I came from for a time. So I wasn’t even here for… however long I’ve been gone?”

He had gone home? Oh god. Rhy's heart skips a beat.

He'd almost lost his love forever, and he knows it.

"It hasn't been long, dear. But it's still been too long."

“It hasn’t?” He asked, finally shifting enough to look around them thoughtfully. Yes… The house hadn’t really changed overmuch since he was last here. The little improvement projects he’d been working on were still there… His eyes returning to Rhy, taking his husband in with a searching light in his eyes. Still the same, aside from the signs of tears shed and the lack of sleep evident in the way he held himself and the dark circles under his eyes.

“Not long, but…” He mumbled, feeling the weight of it settle on him, along with some odd confusion. His head having a hard time lining it up. “It was two years, for me.” He murmured, taking a deep breath. “Far too long, indeed.”

Somehow he’d gone right back to when he left, and… experienced about the same amount of time he’d been away from his world for. “We should find a place to sit, Rhy.” He finally added quietly, not wanting to keep his husband on his feet for too long and… admittedly, he needed to sit himself. He needed a minute, but he also didn’t want to let go.

Two years? No, no he can't accept that. His hands come up to cup Llewellyn's face, searching it for signs of change. And oh how it hurts.

"Please don't go back again. Don't go where I can't follow. Don't race ahead of me in time."

The age difference between them had already been great. What would he lose now? It was so frustrating and scary, to be so left behind.

"Yes, sit. And wine. I could use a drink."

Rhy would find little was truly different. He hadn’t really skipped ahead in time, so much as gone back and experienced what he missed in his own world in the last two years. Though… It was hard to deny, there were new lines born of stress on his husband’s face. For all the bad things that happened in these worlds, his world had not been kind to him by comparison.

Taking the hands cupped around his face, he lowered them with a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “If it helps, I didn’t really race ahead… More like backwards and experienced what I had missed while here with you in the last two years. Though… I confess it’s left my mind a bit...” A wince. It was cluttered and overwhelming right now, as he tried to sort through one life and another. Both so very different.

The other words, though, they make a particular emotion well up in him again- and dammit, he wasn’t going to cry again. He didn’t want to. He shouldn’t be so emotional… Still, Llewellyn doesn’t keep himself from reacting entirely. “If I could stay here, if I could find a way to avoid ever going back, I would…?” He murmured, desperate honesty bleeding into his tone. He’d never outwardly admitted this to Rhy before, even if he was sure his husband had an idea of how disinterested he’d been with going back to his world. But this was the first time he’d put it to words.

“As could I…” He responded with more weight behind it than he would have liked. His penchant for drinking when troubled had only gotten worse in the last two years, but he didn’t want to worry Rhy with that. Instead, he led him back towards the sofa, seeming to fall back into habits and instincts to want to care for his loved one rather easily.

"Here you can be you," he says, because he does get it. Here Rhy can be only what Rhy is, and that's a comfort. He gets it.

"Am I still your true love?"

The younger man clearly needs comfort here, afraid that Llewellyn had found someone else, perhaps more his age, someone more suited to him than a young king.

It was true, but it was more than that… He had love here as well, and he wasn’t constantly at odds with his colleagues here. The things that had happened, the last case he’d worked before finding himself here? It had left him questioning, and then a second heartbreak on top of that… Well, Llewellyn had started to feel himself slipping again.

The question got a small pause, eyes cast down. He wasn’t sure how to even talk about that mess, but he knew he needed to. If only to ease Rhy’s worries. So he considered his answer as he poured out a couple of glasses of wine. “I won’t lie to you and say that I didn’t see someone else- A couple, someone’s honestly… but…” Clearing his throat slightly as there was a tightness in his voice, he offered Rhy the glass. “It didn’t work out, and it’s not worth remembering here… My heart is still yours, Rhy. Even if it’s… Been in other hands, I suppose.” And part of him wonders if that will disappoint Rhy as much as the other things that had transpired might.

“If I remembered you there- I don’t know that I would have trusted it in another’s care.” He added softly, staring into his glass thoughtfully. The detective wasn’t sure what would have been better now. Remembering Rhy and what they had, but being cut off from him… Or forgetting and trying to find a love that wasn’t meant to be. “As I said, if I could never go back again… I’d be happy.”

Well, if Llewellyn's heart is still his, that's all he can ask for.

"I hope they didn't hurt you. Because you are a treasure to hold and cherish. Still, I am glad I still have you."

He hates the idea of losing a love again, to a fate he could not fathom.

"Please just stay. I promise to stay if you will."

Llewellyn found himself unsure of what to say to that, but being told that he was something to cherish, what with everything that had happened while he was gone? It made his eyes sting again, between the hurt he was reminded of and the relief that Rhy still wanted him despite that it was hard to keep his emotions in check. Awkwardly, he looked down at his glass of wine in an attempt to hide that. “It was complicated…” He mumbled, shaking his head. “But I assure you, I am still yours, my love.”

The promise gets a sudden look up, though, despite his unsteady emotions. “You would… for me?” He spoke softly, some wonder in his tone. He wants it, he realized. Wanted to stay, wanting to have this life with Rhy… Wanted to spend their days together, and not accept that one day their worlds would separate them. Still… The thought gets a cautious, thoughtful response. “I feel that it would be unfair and selfish of me to ask that of you, though…” Rhy had more to go back to than he did, after all. A kingdom, family in Kell… Perhaps even other things.

But Llewellyn wondered if he could at least find a way to stay himself, to not put Rhy through this again. Many of his investigations were pursued with the intent of trying to figure this world out and find ways to help people who wanted to leave to go home. Maybe… Maybe it was time to find out if the opposite could be possible, too.

"I would for you," Rhy agreed. Sure, his world might end up having Kell rule instead of him, but Rhy didn't care. He wanted to be with his husband.

"Ask me it, please. Just do it. Ask me to stay so that I can promise it."

Llewellyn felt a flare of hope in his chest at that, relief that Rhy agreed that he wanted this as much as he did. “Then…” He murmured, putting the glass down to take Rhy’s hands in his again. “Then please… Stay with me, Rhy. If you will, I promise I’ll find a way to remain in this place with you.” He responded, tone thick with sincerity. He could feel a few stray tears escape down his cheek as he finally expressed the wish he’d had in the back of his own mind for months now before he even went back to his world. But now that he had... That desire was stronger.

The idea that of going back to the life he had before, without his husband, was so disheartening now... He didn't want to lose this too, not after losing so much already. Even Ivy had said he should talk to Rhy about it, but it had seemed terribly selfish of him to ask… But if Rhy wanted it, too? Then maybe they could make it happen, or at least try to.

Well, he'd be there for him.

"I swear I will be with you for as long as the worlds will let me."

And that was all that mattered. So he holds Rhy close, trying to rest. It's so much easier to rest here, like this. It's peaceful.

"Come up to bed? We'll have Pretzel sleep with us tonight."

Llewellyn felt something warm and soothing wash over him at those words, for the first time in what seemed like forever… And in a way it had been, after the last couple years away from here.

“Then I’ll find a way for us to stay together, my love.” He smiled softly, drawing his arms around Rhy and returning the embrace. It was a comfort, grounding him to be held close. He wasn’t alone here, and he was as loved and wanted as he felt for the other leaned against him. He would make this happen, make it work… For the both of them, a new investigation to start that would be for their benefit.

The idea of curling up with Rhy and their sweet little hound was so appealing. It was almost sad, really, how good it felt to think that they could simply enjoy each other’s company in their home without the worries or fears he’d felt recently. Dashing the lingering tears from his eyes, he finally nodded. “I would love that, just the three of us… And I think… if it’s alright with you… I’d like to take a few days more with you, before I return to work?” He added thoughtfully. He knew there was much to do, especially with this newer revelation, but he wanted to spend some time with his husband. Making sure they both rested and got their time.

And… He really needed to sort his thoughts. Rhy hadn’t pushed him for more information, but there was quite a lot he was trying to sort and deal with that people were bound to notice if he wasn’t careful.

"Of course you can," he says, because he will find a way to make it work. Rhy pulls away, getting to his feet and moving to scoop up their lovely dog, who seemed very eager to be picked up to try and get a chance to lick his master Llewellyn's face.

"Come on, dear. Upstairs."

Llewellyn smiled softly, feeling so very lucky for his husband’s support and belief… It was just helping to settle his nerves, so for now he could simply focus on what they had here and… try to forget about everything else for now. As Rhy got to his feet to collect Pretzel, Llewellyn finally pushed himself to his feet.

A surprised laugh escaped him though as he observed Pretzel trying to stretch his neck out from where he was cradled in Rhy’s arms to get at his face. It was a good sound, if anyone knew how little he’d been doing so of late. “Missed you too, bud.” He reached out to give the dog a gentle little scratch behind the ear. “Going to have to give you a good little reward for keeping your dad company, hm?” Llewellyn mumbled fondly, glad that the two had each other in his absence. Part of him wished he’d had them both with them, and the other half was just glad they hadn’t had to be in that place with all its unfairness and judgement.

Once the little hound had settled in Rhy’s arms, satisfied from the attention of both of his favourite people and being carried, he tilted his head at Rhy again. “Of course, my love… I just want to be with you both. Forget the rest… just for now.” He responded softly, still drawing an arm around Rhy’s shoulders and moving for the stairway.

"I could forget it all, just to be honored with the memory of your arms. That said, you should send a quick message out to Aerith, and others. They are worried about you."

And while tomorrow or the coming days would be enough to see them, for now, he should tell them.

They were? Llewellyn’s brow furrowed a bit, considering the idea… He knew he should. It would be proper. But… He didn’t want to deal with the influx of questions that would come with it. He knew the people he worked with and none of them would simply let it be until he saw them. “It’s a bit late now to be messaging them. I’ll send word in the morning… Otherwise, we’ll be bombarded with questions that I um- don’t feel particularly capable of answering right now.” He finally responded with a small nod. His tone might have come off a bit weak… But… He needed time to think of how to answer, and how to work around answers he didn’t want to give.

It was probably one of the first times since he originally left his world that withholding truths was the more appealing way to proceed. Which wasn’t right, of course, and he was terrible at it… But there was truly too much that he felt particularly complicated or even ashamed of.

Either way, his response definitely seemed a little unlike him.

"And here I would have suggested leaving your Tell Phone down here," Rhy said before pulling away. It was time to go upstairs. Time to find their secure place to rest.

Rhy wasn't quite ready to touch on what happend to Llewellyn, so he truly would let the evasion stand.

Llewellyn knew that was a good point, but he was already taking the out thanks to Rhy, not pressing, and moving for the stairs himself. He was sure with just… A little time, he’d know what to say and he would let people know in the morning. That was the plan, or so he told himself.

He wanted to get comfortable and to soak up Rhy’s presence, so with a soft hum as he reached the bedroom, he looked around and took the sight in. Re-familiarizing himself with the space he felt like he hadn’t seen in two years. “I’ve missed this…” He murmured, looking from the bed to the balcony and then back to his husband. “Missed curling up with you and basking in your presence.” He murmured, before looking at the bed.

It looked freshly made… Or as though it hadn’t been slept in at all, so he gave Rhy a small, questioning look as he loosened his tie. “You should get comfortable, love.”

The room was not the most neat it had been. Clearly Rhy was not taking good care of himself when his love had been gone. But he looks relieved that he had managed to make the bed the first day Llewellyn had been gone, hopeful for his return.

Since then he'd lived on the couch.

Tired as he was, Rhy flopped down on the bed, lowering Pretzel onto it as well.

"I'll be more comfortable with you in it."

Llewellyn found the signs found of his husband neglecting himself more worrying than anything. He could tidy things up properly later, but for now, he was more concerned with making sure Rhy got the rest he clearly needed. His habit of worrying about loved ones and trying to care for them might have increased some, after all, given the kinds of losses he had suffered so recently.

Glancing over his shoulder, he offered a soft smile. “I’ll join you in a moment then, love. We’ll make things quite cozy, I promise.” He finished changing then, leaving his slightly rumpled suit aside to clean and take care of in the morning. Pretzel was quite excited as Llewellyn neared the bed. Bouncing over the mattress back and forth between his two favourite people.

Chuckling softly, he sat on the edge and pulled his legs up to move closer to Rhy. Holding his arms open, he gestured for the other to come closer.

It was pleasant to see Pretzel so happy. And Rhy breathed a sigh of relief to curl against his husband. It was nice to be against the larger man.

"I was so scared that I was going to be alone. Losing you should be unimaginable, and now I can imagine it far too well.

Llewellyn wrapped his arms around Rhy, resting his head gently on top of his husband’s once he was curled in close. It was a comfort to have him so close again, and he breathed easier with the security of a gentle weight against him. “I know what you mean… I hate that I couldn’t even remember that you were here waiting for me. Now that I’m here, I can’t even fathom the idea of forgetting you.” He murmured absentmindedly, tone soft as he watched Pretzel wearing off a little excitement before curling up next to their legs.

“I always knew it was a possibility- one for either of us… But it’s been so long that I rather hoped that was a sign that we wouldn’t have to worry about it happening.” He certainly wouldn’t have asked to go back to his, and given how it had gone… He would be content if it never happened again.

No, he doesn't want to consider the possibility. It would be be too difficult. To painful to consider being home without the man he loves. And to not know it. So he just clings to Llewellyn al the tigther.

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