aterat | [Audio] - Backdated to the beginning of the event because I've been slow

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[Audio] - Backdated to the beginning of the event because I've been slow

(ooc: Hello! I am happy to say Mono saw one of your characters memories if you tag this, because I think he probably would have run into a lot and not known what to do. I just picked through a few that I think would grab his interest to start from the lists people provided. This is also a good place to have your character approach him about seeing one of his. They can even talk back and forth about each other’s memories if we want to say they both saw each other’s.)

[Mono was…

Well, he was panicking a little.

Or a lot. It was hard to tell with him sometimes, most of the time he expressed vague discomfort and an honest opinion about something he didn’t like.

Today was a little different. He’d been running messages for work when all this started, and at first it hadn’t been too bad. Confusing, yes, but not too bad… But then it started to pile up. Too many memories, too many feelings that didn’t make sense to the child. He doesn’t like it, not one bit. It’s hard enough to try to figure feelings and how things should be, without this.

And he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to see any of these things. This all felt like it was private. Private thoughts. Private feelings. Experiences that if he were these people? He’d want to forget they happened for the most part… The bad ones, at least.

So he’d halted his deliveries in a panic and found a place to hide until it all hopefully passed, but he had questions… Oh boy, did he have questions.]

I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t like it! Where are all these things coming from? Why’s the sky throwing other people's thoughts and feelings at me?

[The static interference is a lot stronger today. So perhaps it was easier to tell he was panicking. Mono’s emotions were not in check.]

It feels really bad to see all these things! ‘Cause I didn’t mean to look at people's thoughts, I don’t even mean just the bad stuff! [A pause and his tone gets very dark as he mumbled.] even if I’m really mad at the stuff I saw happening to my friends… I want bad stuff to happen to the person who was mean to Tommy and also that creepy guy with Illyana…

But even the nice stuff…?? Some people come from such different places, even from here and it’s… It’s all so weird and confusing?? Some people aren’t even the same as they are now, so I think they were older… Like Mr. Rhy was really small in one of the ones I saw! Like me! But not… It was really nice, like a castle in the fairy tales. [A pause,] And some of it’s not even really people?? Just feelings? Aren’t these things supposed to stay in our own heads, not in crystals?

[Another static filled pause occurs as something crosses the boy's mind…]

And I don’t want people to see where I’m from.

[Because no one should see that place.]

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[It seemed to Mono like there was never someone there to help...

And he'd already lost his friend Six, and maybe that was the other reason why this was all hitting him so hard. Half of it was how weird he'd been feeling in the year he'd been here for being from such a different place, and people telling him adults were supposed to protect children. The other half... He had so many friends here who'd been through bad stuff, and he couldn't help them either.]

I gotta... I gotta get stronger, and better, and then I can make sure this stuff doesn't happen anymore. To anyone!

[Big dreams, that... But the kid was a little desperate to make things better, and to make bad people pay for hurting him and other kids.

Mono wasn't sure how hot chocolate would make him feel better, not with all the emotions built up in his head and the anger that wanted something to lash out at. But... He didn't want to be alone right now, and he was a little afraid that saying no would mean Jacob wouldn't visit.]

You can bring some if you want... I'm not sure how it's supposed to make stuff better, though.

You can.

[Jacob doesn't know if anything he is saying helps but it's something that he has to believe too. It's hard to live in a world without hope. Everyone needs to believe in something better.]

It might not but you never know until you try it.

[Hot chocolate reminds him of his mother. Even though she's gone and he couldn't save her, he's comforted by the memories of his mother waiting for him with a cup of hot chocolate in her hands. It'd always been what she used to welcome him from the cold or comfort him when he was scared and even on hotter days, Jacob looked forward to the heated comfort.] It always made me feel better.

[Mono guessed he had time to figure out if he wanted to try, if Jacob wasn’t going to be around right away. He just… needed to calm down a little. Needed to stop himself from snapping and lashing out. He already had quite a bit today… And he was a little afraid of how to handle it later.

But he’d run into quite a few memories, and Tommy had definitely helped get him home… But even now he just felt so very charged up, he hadn’t had to deal with nearly this much in the last year since arriving. Yeah, bad stuff happened here too… But not like at home, and this was the closest he’d felt like things back there. He felt like he should be doing something, should be acting on some impulse that he couldn’t tap into… But hot chocolate and company, that was… that was doing something, at least.]

I guess that's kinda true… I’ll try it then. Um… I’ll see you when you get here.

I'll be there as quickly as I can.

[He hangs up the phone and despite his desires to collect as many of the crystals as possible, Jacob heads back towards his apartment. He'll drop off anything he doesn't need and then head to Mono's apartment.

It takes about thirty minutes for him to reach Mono's place and with a light touch, he gently knocks on the door. Jake didn't want to startle his young friend.]

Mono? It's me. Jake.

[Mono had spent most of that time trying to calm himself down, and speak to a few other people on the network… It never made him feel particularly good to talk on it, so he was glad for the distraction as a knock sounded at his door. Even if it’s quiet, the kid picked up on his quite easily… He was usually on alert, and right now he was on high alert.

So, sliding off the edge of the sofa that had come with the apartment, he hurried over to the door and opened it. The kid only opened it a crack at first to peer out and see if it really was Jake, before he opened it the rest of the way.

The kid looked like a bit of a storm cloud at the moment, and tired. So he stepped aside to let his friend in.]

Um… Hi, you were faster than I thought.

[A half hour didn’t really seem that long to him at all, but he also didn’t have a great sense of time. Time seemed… very broken where he was from. He wasn’t used to keeping track of it now.]

[Jacob offers a small smile and a steaming cup of hot chocolate. It isn't anything fancy though he had used milk to make it extra creamy.]

I hope that's okay. I brought you hot chocolate. Me too, so we can drink together. [He's a bit unsettled from the memories he's seen but he imagines its worse for someone like Mono. Young children have the tendency to put the world on their shoulders.

He had done the same when he was young.]

How are you doing?

[Jacob steps inside but gives Mono space so that he doesn't feel over crowded.]

[He reached out to take it, a small unsteady smile crossing momentarily at the warm cup in his hands. He really did find he liked sweet things in this world, and the warmth was comforting in an unexpected way.]

I bet it’s good. [He responded quietly, before going back to sit down on the sofa and curling his feet up under him.] Someone gave it to me the first day I got here… It was nice.

[The question gets a small, uncertain shrug of his shoulders. He wasn’t upset as he’d been before… But he still wasn’t happy about most of what he’d seen. And… The underlying anxiety at the realization that some people might see his memories was ever present.]

I’m okay, I guess… I got to talk with some people about stuff that I saw, but I’m still kinda mad about it all.

[Jacob's expression relaxes as Mono takes the steaming cup of hot chocolate. He had a cup for himself as well but it was half empty, having sipped it during his walk to Mono's apartment.]

I get it. I'm mad too. I don't want any of my friends to be hurt.

[He clears his throat before gently placing two crystals on a nearby counter.]

I found these and I'm sorry but I saw them. Like you, I'm just worried about you. If I could somehow help, I'd like too. Even if it's just to talk about it. [He doesn't know if Mono has seen any of his memories but he's worried. There is so much of his life that he doesn't want Mono to experience because like his little friend, he had been a child.]

[Mono looked at Jacob over the top of his coco searchingly at that, Jacob seemed like he had the whole anger thing under control better than he did. But the child nodded slowly,]

I don’t wanna see bad stuff happening to people, bad stuff shouldn’t happen to anyone. Not Tommy, not Illyana, and not you! I kept hoping that the other worlds better and stuff like that didn’t happen to people in them, since I know my world isn’t normal. [The child was about to launch into what he’d seen in a clumsy attempt to try to understand… When the crystals were placed on the counter. Mono was tempted to use the swear he learned from Tommy earlier again.]

Oh… You saw my world. [The words came out rather flat from the boy, grip on the cup tightened with some obvious anxiety. No one was supposed to see his world. Describing it only upset and confused people, seeing it would be worse.] I didn’t want anyone to see that place… What did you see?

[And had Jacob seen any of the bad things he’d done to survive?]

Hey, there are crappy people everywhere but that means there are good people everywhere too. You can just stare at the shadows or you can see that the shadows are only darker because of how bright the light is. [Jacob wants to ruffle Mono's head or do something comforting but he knew that the kid doesn't like to be touched. With a soft sigh, he takes a seat on the couch and leans forward with his wrists on his knees.

He feels so useless.]

A creepy teacher and a tall figure. It was scary. I can see how this world might come as a shock.

[He wonders if he should go into detail about what he saw or ask about the boy that had been taken. It's weird but he's really at a loss for what to say. Jacob likes to think he's good at comforting people but he's really not. He has a hard time relating to others on a deep level but he'll give it a try for Mono. All kids should have a chance to be kids.]

[ Mono’s face scrunched a bit at the advice. He wasn’t sure how true that was… The kid had a hard time of letting go of things he was angry about, but he knows Jacob is trying to help. The guy… Well, he was a good guy. One of the good people that proved they existed, which was kind of the point of what the guy was saying. ]

It’s hard not to be angry, though. I wish people hadn’t had bad stuff happen at all. The bad people shouldn’t be allowed to get away with stuff.

[ Thoughts and wishes for revenge… That was something he probably wouldn’t be able to let go of, at least not without a lot of patience and work.

The teacher and… The tall figure might mean the man in the hat. But everyone was tall compared to Mono there. His hands clenched at the cup in his hands more tightly, a little anxious about what to say about all that. ]

Yeah… That’s why when I got here I was following and watching people so much, ‘cause I thought they might be different from they seem. [ Like the teacher, who looked… unsettling but normal enough until she started chasing you with that neck… It was also why he still did when new people showed up. Just in case… ] I’m sorry you saw it, I didn’t want people to see that place. They always act kinda weird when I talk about it, so seeing it would be even more bad.

I dunno why the teacher’s the way she is. She doesn’t even have real kids now. She kinda just… acts like one. [ His shoulder’s lifted in a little shrug. She, like the porcelain bullies running around her school, seemed to just be going through motions. Mimicking life in a slightly… distorted way. ] What did the tall figure look like?

They shouldn't and in most cases, no one gets away with doing bad things. [It might take some time but Jacob is sure that nothing is designed to be constant. Every action has a consequence and it can be blamed on any chain of the set of events but it comes down to the choices that are made.]

I don't mind seeing it. I'm more worried about you. It looks stressful. [He's also lived in a dark place but it'd only been for a few years of his young life. He isn't eager to imagine a constant darkness like Mono's world.]

Mm? It's hard to describe. He was very slender and came from a TV? You weren't alone in the memory. You were with someone as small as you.

Yeah? [ That was the problem with getting glimpses of memories. You didn’t get the full story. You didn’t get the sense of justice done after the fact… Which was why, even if he hadn’t indicated which memory he’d seen of Jacobs… The kid asks rather bluntly as the thought entered his head. ] Did whoever hurt your family get punished?

[ It was constant, and it was stressful… But Mono wasn’t sure hat to do about it anymore. He used to think that he just needed to get to the signal tower to fix everything. There had to be a reason he felt drawn there. Even as he considered following Six to find a better place like she seemed to think if they could just get through the city, he’d still let himself be drawn to the tower and the idea…

But after the man in the hat had captured six, after he realized he’d been lured into a trap… Now it felt more important to get her back and leave. ] I guess I’m kinda used to it, but it’s still frustrating when stuff doesn’t get better and we can’t find a safe place…

[ But at Jacob’s description, the kid frowned deeply. He knew exactly what the man had seen, then… ] That’s the man in the hat, he… I think he lives in the signal tower with the other thing in the TV. I dunno why, but he’s kinda the scariest… [ For more reasons than just being tall and powerful. He made Mono feel weird, because he could do a lot of things that Mono could… ] And um… That was Six with me. She’s my friend. We were trying to work together, and he took her away… It’s kinda my fault, too. [ His voice was smaller at that. ] ‘cause she kept trying to get me away from the TVs and then she got caught because I couldn’t make myself move to go when she needed me…

[Jacob's expression doesn't change as he nods his head in answer to Mono's question.] I don't know how much you saw. [His memory of that time is like a nightmare and void of certain details.] The man who hurt my family was being controlled by someone else. [He's someone who Jacob see's from time to time but it doesn't bother him as much as it used to.]

The person who made it happen is dead.

[It's complicated with a series of people and organizations involved but the main culprit had been killed. Even so, Jacob can't escape the nightmares from that time.]

It isn't your fault. It's the man in the hat's fault.

[Words can't make Mono feel better but Jacob hopes that his words are able to reach the young boy.] Just like it wasn't my fault, back then.

[ Mono listened quietly, and perhaps his reaction was a little surprising when Jacob explained the man who’d caused it to happen was dead. ]

Good… People shouldn’t be allowed to get away with stuff like that. [ His views were very black and white, perhaps, but he was a kid who’d been in a lot of unfair situations and no role-models, really. ] I’m… I’m still sorry about your family. You shouldn’t have lost them, that shouldn’t happen to people.

[He really wished he could believe Jacob’s words… really he does, but…] What happened to you was different. She kept warning me that it was bad. I should’ve stopped myself, and I should’ve helped her when she reached for me!

[He shrugs and then takes a small sip of his now empty hot chocolate.] I'm happy that I have the memories I do and I don't want those taken away from me. I also have another family now. [Semi by force.] And my older sister is still alive.

[So it isn't all bad.]

Maybe. But I also stabbed my older sister. [He'd blamed her for his parents death for a long time. He hadn't realized how misguided he was until she saved him in place of saving herself.] And she forgave me... somehow.

Life is complicated. You can go through it with the weight of all that blame or do something with the feeling and try and get better.

Yeah…? [ He was still sad that Jacob had lost his first family at all, but… It was nice that he had found another? ] Are they nice?

[ Okay, the child had to tilt his head a little curiously as the guy explained that he stabbed his sister. ] Why’d you stab her? Isn’t that kinda bad to do if she’s your family?

[ Hey, he doesn’t have family… But even he is pretty sure that’s not a good idea… But if his sister could forgive him for that…? Then maybe… ]

So… If I can go back and fix it, you think she’ll still forgive me for messing up and getting her caught?

[A wistful smile touched the corner of Jacob's mouth as he looked over at Mono.] Yeah. They're good people. [He cares about them to a degree but it's hard for him to think of them as family. He is lucky that they are a very stubborn bunch of people who don't accept Jacob's tendency to isolate himself.]

It's complicated. I thought she had hurt me and I thought it was okay to hurt her in return.

[He shakes his head.]

I was just stupid.

[It's one of the few things that he regrets but there is no changing the past.] And yeah, she will. True friends and family will always forgive you. The only person you can control is yourself. So your life is up to your choices.

There are things we can't control but you can still do a lot.

[ Mono nodded thoughtfully. He was glad that his second family was nice… Jacob deserved nice, good people; he thought. After being through bad stuff, he hadn’t deserved to go through. The situation with his sister did sound complicated, though, and Mono wasn’t sure he could quite understand it… ]

Oh… That does sound kinda complicated… I guess I kinda understand wanting to hurt someone who hurt you, but you both forgave each other and figured it out?

[ The kid definitely was easily tilted towards thoughts of revenge, so Mono guessed he might have reacted the same if he’d been Jacob.

There was something brighter and hopeful in the boy’s eyes, though, when Jacob said that Six might be able to forgive him for his mistake. ] That’s… That’s good. I don’t want her to hate me. She’s the only friend I had, and I liked having her around a lot.

Yeah. I haven't exactly forgiven myself but she forgave me. I don't talk to her about a lot of things nowadays but I see her at least once a month and we catch up. [His family forced him to participate in movie night.]

I hope she shows up here too.

Then you guys can talk it out and hang out somewhere safe.

[Jacob smiles and hopes that talking about this has helped ease Mono's worries, even if only by a little bit.]

[ Mono supposed that was the thing… Forgiving yourself seemed just as hard. He knew he still felt guilty about what happened to Six… Still had bad dreams about what happened to her, even about what happened to other kids.

But he perked up a little at the response, nodding quickly. ]

I think she’d like it here. There’s so much good food and things you don’t see in my world! And I… I want her to meet good adults too, like you and the other people I met when I got here.

I can tell. [Jacob replied with a grin.] The adults in your world suck.

[He lets out a slow breath as the weight of the conversation slides off of his shoulders. He hadn't known how to start talking about such serious things with a child but it'd all worked out organically.]

Maybe it'll happen but even if it doesn't, one day you can go home and you'll be stronger.

[Jacob pauses feeling a bit awkward as he continues.]

I hope that makes you feel a bit better. I know it's hard but things really aren't as they seem. [He really doesn't want Mono taking on other people's problems.]

Kinda, yeah. [ Suck was a good word for it, while also being a bit of an understatement.

But Jake was right, even if Six didn’t arrive here… Eventually he’d go home, and he’d do his best to fix things and get his friend back. ]

I still feel kinda mad about stuff… But I guess I feel better after talking about it? Thanks, Jake.

[ He looked at his now empty cup of hot chocolate. ] I think this helped too.

[Jacob grins and collects their empty cups to toss them in the trash later.]

Good. Talking is hard but it usually helps. So talk to me or your other friends if you feel worried. I'm sure everyone will bring hot chocolate if you ask them. [It really is the best drink.]

And if you're worried about things you can't change. Find something to distract you. I do this. [He shifts the cups into one hand before digging into his pocket. A second later Jacob pulls out a palm sized wooden cat carved out of a dark chestnut colored wood.] Here. This is for you.

I don't know if you found the cat you were looking for when we first met but I hope this is okay. [He really doesn't think that there was a cat but he isn't going to out his tiny friends innocent lie.]

[ Talking was hard, especially considering the things the kid had running around in his head. Having seen his world, Jacob might have a better idea of why he wasn’t very good at opening up about it. A few times now he’d said things that were rather upsetting for some people, which had made him instinctively try to keep most of it to himself.

But the little carved cat distracts Mono quite a bit, his eyes widening with a rare innocent awe. ]

You made that? It’s so tiny and cute. [ He mumbled, taking it curiously to turn over in his hands. Was Jacob really giving him this? ]

Are you sure you want me to have it? It’s really neat… [ He blinked at the mention of his pretend cat search and fell silent for a moment before he nodded quickly. ] Um… Yeah! I found it eventually; I guess.

[ Yes, he doesn’t sound so sure of himself there. But the little carved cat had his attention more than anything. People kept giving him nice things, and it was kind of confusing. ]

<3 /wrap up soon?

brotherofagod - 2022-03-28 19:54 (UTC) - Expand

Sure <3 we can ftb here-ish if you want!

monochromatically - 2022-03-29 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Audio] - Backdated to the beginning of the event because I've been slow

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<3 /wrap up soon?

Sure <3 we can ftb here-ish if you want!