Ivy Tamwood (
neurotoxicity) wrote in
aterat2021-05-04 08:57 pm
Intro Logs
Who; Ivy + Open to anyone
What; Arrival and wandering around. If you'd prefer bracket spam action, feel free to do that rather than prose!
Where; Heading to the buildings + Wandering around at night
When; 5/04 in the morning and night.
Warnings; None at the moment, will update if any come up
A. Arrival at the residential area and the Green building.
B. Night and wandering around.
What; Arrival and wandering around. If you'd prefer bracket spam action, feel free to do that rather than prose!
Where; Heading to the buildings + Wandering around at night
When; 5/04 in the morning and night.
Warnings; None at the moment, will update if any come up
A. Arrival at the residential area and the Green building.
Ivy arrived in a bad mood. Due to that sour mood she headed straight to the residential area without even the slightest desire to look around. It was morning, way too early for a vampire, and she'd somehow just been abducted from one alternate dimension into another. What kind of shit luck was that? Her shoulders were hunched forward and her expression was dark as she walked with purpose to the area with the colored urban buildings.
"You have to be kidding me," she muttered as she looked up at each building. They looked like the type of city apartments Rachel had lived in before they'd moved in together. Which meant they were shared apartments. Shared apartments. At least in the last place she'd had her own place where she could try to avoid other people as much as she wanted to. This? This made it seem like avoiding people would be a lot more difficult.
After a few seconds more of just glaring at the building, as if that would somehow change what they looked like, she opened the door to the green building and went inside. She took a look around the common room and adjusted the blood red silk scarf around her neck as she sighed.
"A common room. Quaint..." she said with obvious irritation leaking into her voice. "B-10. Third floor then? These look so...small." Well, this was going to be an adjustment. A decidedly unpleasant adjustment.
B. Night and wandering around.
A little bit of sleep and the familiarity that night brought put Ivy in a slightly better mood. There were positives to this situation. So far from what she'd gathered on this place's network the place didn't seem quite as bleak as the underwater domes she'd just come from. They weren't underwater so it was a lot less claustrophobic. People seemed to know a lot more about who had brought them here and why. It even seemed like it might be possible to speak to some of the people in charge, which could lead to more information. It wasn't all bad. The living quarters were crap but at least she wasn't rooming with anyone. Try to focus on the positives, Ivy. That's what she kept telling herself over and over again. Maybe it'd actually convince her that this wasn't that bad.
The network could only tell her so much though. What she really needed to do was look around. Of course she waited until night to do that. Everything was easier (and more familiar) at night. She started with the market just as the sun was beginning to go down. Periodically as she walked through she stopped to write things down in a small notebook she'd brought with her. If anyone noticed her they might be able to pick up on the fact that she was sketching out a small map as well as taking note of any major businesses. They might also notice she was completely absorbed in her note taking. Which, unfortunately for anyone else walking around, meant she wasn't paying attention to people in the slightest. Maybe she's still a bit more tired and out of it than she thought...

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"Have you noticed you can't see where their power comes from?" That was another weird aspect of the entire thing. "Chocobos. Someone told me they were called chocobos." And of course she'd made note of that and everything else she'd come across. "The list for things we need to find out is getting longer and longer." Though she didn't sound bothered by that, the opposite actually. It gave her plenty of things to work on to distract herself from any other thoughts she might have.
"I guess I would. Maybe you were just born in the wrong era." She'd heard some people say that before and maybe he was a case of that. She couldn't really imagine what it was like in his time or in his world for that matter. There was probably quite a lot of things she didn't really get.
"Mmm, why did you stop gambling?" She shook her head and chuckled. Maybe she'd mention it to Harry when they ran into each other again. Maybe not. For some reason she wasn't entirely sure how to interact with Harry. "Let me know how that goes. I'd be interested in knowing what he says."
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“I did, and I can’t help but wonder why that is…? They function just fine, but it seems to me that they shouldn’t. I’m pretty sure they would confound the detective I used to work with in my world.” He responded with a little smile. Honestly, he’s pretty sure most things about this world would have confused Murdoch if he were here. It would almost be amusing to watch. “I suppose ‘magic’ could be the answer, but I really wouldn’t know what sort or how…” He murmured with a hum as he couldn’t help but think that there should still be some sort of source even if that were the case.
Chocobos… yes, that’s right. That’s what someone had called them, he’d remember one of these times… Probably. “Mm, Indeed it has.” He responded a moment later, thinking on the list. “We’re certainly going to be kept busy, I think.” Llewellyn only hoped that it was the sort of busy that eventually lead to making some progress on figuring things out.
Llewellyn rubbed the back of his neck lightly, seeming to consider her words a little seriously. “Perhaps, I suppose, given what I’ve learned is possible… Maybe some people are born in the wrong times or world. But! I’m here now, and it seems I’m not going back to my world any time soon if the last year and my arrival here is anything to go by.” He added with a light gesture. It was strange to think of, but he was sometimes thankful for what he had found in his time away from his world.
Llewellyn’s brows rose a little. No one ever really asked, though some had tried to push him to take it up again. Which he hadn’t appreciated, but it was clear that they hadn’t understood at the time. “Oh… Well, call it a combination of not being good at bluffing and bad luck. The slope gets rather slippery if you aren’t careful.” He smiled wryly. “So I decided it was better if I didn’t, and focused on my responsibilities instead.” So he tried very hard to not fall into it again. It was an unhealthy vice that he’d at least managed to give up compared to some of the others.
“I’ll keep that in mind for once I find out, another good reason for us all to eventually meet again. To uh— keep ourselves updated on what we’ve learned versus what we still need to figure out… Or look into further.” Llewellyn realized that he was going to need more than a few notebooks at this rate…
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"They smell like magic," she confirmed. "Not earth magic, that smells more...pungent." She'd never really liked the smells that came with earth magic. Beyond ruling earth magic out she couldn't really say too much though. Maybe Harry would know something. "Magic meant to replicate what some of us are more used to...?" But again the topic came back to why. It really always circled back to that, didn't it? She could think of two possibilities: to give them some sort of false sense of security or that this place was only capable of replicating things based on their knowledge.
"You don't seem to bothered by that." If he didn't fit in as much as he claimed then she could understand why he'd be content to not go back. In all honesty, if she found a partner like he had and maybe solutions to her soul problem, then maybe she'd be happy to stay somewhere other than her home. It wasn't like her future there was appealing.
"You, not good at bluffing?" that wasn't hard to believe at all for some reason. It was an amusing thought to try to picture him making attempts though. She smiled. "Maybe we can arrange a time for a community meeting." It was a joke and her tone made that clear enough.
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Ivy’s comment made Llewellyn stop for a moment, feeling a little awkward about that… He tried to not bring it up, because he knew how crazy it sounded. He should want to go back to his world, he didn’t belong in these places anymore than the others did… Which was why he still actively tried to help find answers that might help people go home, but Llewellyn would be lying if he said he wanted to go back. As he said earlier, he didn’t like to lie unless it was for a good reason. “I admit that I’m not entirely concerned with going back to my word… As bad as some of the things that have happened are, I’ve still found more happiness than I’ve known in my world.”
Frowning a little, his voice a little quieter as he shook his head. “I know that sounds strange… But I’ve had to hide so much in my world. I never would have been allowed to marry if I fell in love. Wouldn’t be able to build a life for us like we could here… We wouldn’t even be allowed to just be seen together in public without keeping up some sort of act to suggest were weren’t what we were.” That wasn’t even counting about how he’d never be allowed to advance in his career if he ever tried to push forward. Toronto was just as narrow minded as much of the world, for all it acted as though it wasn’t. Llewellyn was fairly certain if they dug into his own background and found out about his family and his beliefs that they’d put a stop to any possible promotions based on that alone considering how Murdoch was treated, even if they didn’t dig further and find out about his sexual preferences.
Or if he didn’t get fired before that for going against orders as he was prone to do when he felt like the victims were being pushed aside or when his inspector’s personal biases were jeopardizing a case. “So in these worlds… I’m simply free to be as I am, and even if I know I need to help everyone figure out how to get back… I can’t help but appreciate what I have while I have it.” He ended with a small shrug, fussing with the ring on his finger absentmindedly.
“Nope… Not at all.” Llewellyn responded with a wry smile, he tended to wear a lot of his thoughts and feelings on his face, after all. He’d never been particularly good at hiding them either if the right buttons were pressed. So gambling had definitely been a poor choice on his part, but he’d at least learned better than to take that particularly foolish risk.
A smaller, warmer chuckle escaped “A community meeting… That’s not a bad thing to call it, we are a community of sorts. Mm… united under the strange circumstances that we’ve all found ourselves in.”
no subject
Ivy fell silent for a few seconds and a frown touched the corners of her mouth. There were times it was easy to forget he didn't just come from a different world but also a different time and a different culture. People didn't care who took who on as a lover for the most part in her world. Maybe humans cared more, but vampires? They took both equally and there had never been anything different than that. She shifted her weight from side to side awkwardly and shook her head.
"That never occurred to me." It was embarrassing to admit. The fact that he had a husband had never seemed weird to her or even worth a comment. She'd never thought to second guess it or to make the connections about why he might be happier in worlds beyond his own. Now that she was thinking about it, she felt like it should have been obvious and she was stupid for not connecting it. Suddenly a lot of his comments made a lot more sense and she felt even more guilty for having brought up subjects like this at all. "Vampires don't care. I don't know if they've ever cared. Piscary has had me and Kisten and countless others with him in bed over the years. If you want someone, you want them regardless of gender." That wasn't how it was for humans though, was it? Maybe it was more so now, but once upon a time it'd been an idea that was shunned.
"I'll never understand why humans enjoy judging each other so much." And always for the dumbest things. "Or why they think that people's private lives are open for it." Private lives were supposed to be just that: private. Why precisely people cared about what went on in other people's lives was beyond her. People really had no lives of their own to get so caught up in judging other people's lives. "I'm sorry. I don't think it sounds stupid of you to prefer it somewhere else. Hiding things that are a part of you..." she trailed off and her eyes lowered down to the large silver cross around her neck. "It weighs on you eventually." She knew that from her own experiences with the many secrets she kept from everyone around her. Having to hide such a huge part of yourself though? That had to be suffocating. "You shouldn't have to hide it."
In a weird way his explanation almost made her glad he was here. "Everyone should get the chance to be free to be who they are." Or at least a chance to figure that out. "If you could..." she trailed off again as she contemplated just not proceeding with the question. "would you stay?" Curiosity managed to get the best of her in the end. She wouldn't blame him if the answer was yes.
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That it hadn’t occurred to her wasn’t surprising. Llewellyn had gotten a pretty good idea of how things were different in other worlds and times. It did help a little to know that it got better eventually, even if it was a long way beyond his own era. So he shook his head a little at her tone. “I know, not many think about it… Even in Rhy’s world, it’s not nearly as frowned upon.” It seemed to depend more on the person there, from what he had said. His husband had been horrified to hear that it was even considered against the law. “But that’s not a bad thing— at least I don’t think so… I’m glad that it’s not such an issue in other places and times, because it shouldn’t be and that means others don’t have to be afraid or hide.” He smiled a little sadly, though. “People wanting to judge other people for being who they are is something I’ve never understood, which is why I tend to clash in my world compared to here, I think. There’s always something. Sexual preferences, race, religion, social class… It’s frustrating.”
Her expression, and the way her tone trailed off, wasn’t lost on him. Given their earlier conversation, even a few from before that day… He was sure there was plenty that she had to hide herself, and she was right… “It certainly does weigh, especially if you have multiple secrets to balance… Eventually it catches up to you.” And based on his experience, it got messy rather quickly…
The question does make him fall silent for a moment. The answer was both simple and complicated. There were factors involved, and it wasn’t just about him. As much as he wanted to be selfish on the matter, “I… Suppose I would if I had the choice. I have no one waiting for me at home aside from a couple of colleagues. My family is all gone and going back to hiding isn’t exactly appealing…” He let out an awkward breath before adding. “But I know Rhy has a life to go back to one day, and it’s probably not fair to ask him to choose between.”
They had occasionally mused over the idea of what it might be like if he could go back with Rhy, but it had never been particularly serious conversation… So he was trying to focus on what they had now, and appreciating it for however long they had it. Thinking about the future only led him down an unfortunate spiral.
no subject
"It's hard to imagine people still caring." A sad smile touched her lips and she looked down. "That's a nice way to look at it." Though it made her even more sad to think about from his point of view. He cared more about other people even after all that. "It's stupid. But there's no changing people like that." Which was probably the most frustrating part of it. It wasn't like you could convince someone like that to change their mind. "Sounds like a good thing you clash with the people in your own world." It meant he had a less close minded outlook and that was definitely better.
"Eventually. Usually in the worst way," she responded with a frown. "It sounds like you have experience with that though." And she wasn't going to ask anything more about it. There was no way it would result in a pleasant story and it felt like she'd already dragged everything out too badly. She bit down on her lower lip and the feline-like fangs could be seen for just a second.
"Love can make your choose the more unexpected choice." She didn't know Rhy, but she knew how things like that worked. There was no denying she'd made unexpected choices because of love. "In the end, it'd be his choice whether you asked or not." It was a gentle reminder meant to be vaguely encouraging. Unfortunately, she really wasn't the best at being encouraging.
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“And it was hard for me to understand that people didn’t care about it when I arrived in the last world.” He responded, mirroring her sad smile a little. What seemed normal for some was so different for others. He’d been terribly awkward about it and even knowing that it wasn’t going to get him in trouble there hadn’t stopped the anxiety and nerves from cropping up now and again. It had almost been retraining his brain to not be so cautious all the time. Rhy had been very patient with him about that... “It took a while for it to sink in. So I’m… fortunate that I had the chance to get used to it.”
A small chuckle escaped at that, he liked to think that she was right on that… As much as he desperately wanted to fit in sometimes, to not end up alone again, he didn’t have it in him to be agreeable on some matters. “Its gotten me in trouble more than once, but I’d rather speak out against their behaviour and narrow-minded opinions than stay silent.” Llewellyn wasn’t one to start fights, but he also wasn’t afraid to speak his mind when it mattered… And speaking up against certain people, especially those trying to ruin or speak ill of someone else, had become a bit of a habit of his. It got him fired from one station house, and he wasn’t exactly on the best of terms with his current boss either.
“Sounds like an experience we both know?” He responded in a quiet tone, shaking his head a little. He wasn’t going to volunteer the specifics, either. Somehow that was more difficult than what he’d already offered about his life, and that was saying something. They’d both shared more than either of them expected to, he was sure. “But we find ourselves with something of a reprieve from the sort of things that would result in secrets being dragged from us against our will, which is something worth noting.” He said, not exactly changing the subject so much as shifting it carefully. He hadn’t seen evidence of memory shares at all, which probably had to do with them not having a device implanted in their heads anymore. Llewellyn was relieved, to say the least.
Even if she wasn’t the best at encouraging people, the attempt wasn’t lost on him. It was appreciated in a way, No, it didn’t say one way or the other if the outcome would be desirable… But the point was that he wouldn’t know until he approached the subject with his husband or until such a time came that the choice might be put in their hands. “You make a lot of good points, Ivy.” He finally responded with a small smile in thanks. Even if it was still a complicated matter… maybe one day he could work up to it.
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"I see. That must have been confusing and...nice?" A relief at the very least she guessed. It made sense to her that it would take him time to adjust though. It must have been hard to not be paranoid about if and when someone might turn on him for it. A hint of a smile touched her lips at his statement.
"You'd like Rachel then. She's always believed in speaking out against behavior she doesn't agree with. Gets her in trouble every single day. Sometimes twice a day. Then the rest of us get in trouble because of her." Despite the harshness of her words she sounded more amused than annoyed. She'd never been brave enough to stand up to much of anything in her life, let alone Piscary and the order that vampires lived by. In a strange way she admired that Llewellyn did. "It takes a strong person to speak out."
She shrugged and gave a halfhearted nod. "Hopefully this place doesn't decide we should share." That was one thing she was very grateful for. She'd been told about the memory sharing in the last place but somehow had gotten lucky enough that nothing from her life had been shared. The things she'd gone through? There were only a few people she'd wish experiences like that on. Besides that, she didn't want to deal with fake sympathy or people trying to understand.
"Thank you. I don't hear people admitting that often enough."
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Humming a little, he nodded. “Confusing certainly described it… The instincts I’d built up tended to be at war with the knowledge that I didn’t need to be on guard on that matter.” He shook his head a little, it had been a bit exhausting at first, but… “But you’re right, it was nice once I adjusted.” It had just taken almost a year and one very patient person to get him to that point.
Ivy’s friend honestly sounded like exactly the kind of person he’d get along with, and he couldn’t help but smile at the amused tone in her voice, conflicting with her choice of words. “I would like to meet her one day, if I ever had the chance.” Although he supposed that meant the potential for twice as much trouble, but sometimes trouble was worth it if someone else benefited from those brave enough to speak out. “Or one who doesn’t think before they speak.” He added, tone almost joking a little. Llewellyn appreciated the compliment, of course, but he wasn’t the best at taking them.
Plus, it would be a lie to that say he always thought before he spoke. Especially if someone said or did something that was both annoying and wrong.
“I’m trying to remain hopeful that it won’t… I’ve asked around and it doesn’t seem as though it’s been a problem here before now. At least not for as long as anyone has been here.” He responded, tucking his hands in his coat pockets with a glance at the dwindling people around the area as the evening started to grow. “It’s definitely a world with its own complications, and we’ll have to be mindful until we figure more out...” For now, anyway. Llewellyn was rather hopeful that it stayed that way, having been through it a few times… It wasn’t fun, especially if it wasn’t something he was ready to talk about. “But it at least feels somewhat better than where we were— but perhaps that’s just the fact that we’re in a world where we can go outdoors again.” He added with a small grin, though wouldn’t exactly rule that out. Llewellyn had never liked feeling contained, and spent most of is time in his own world outside.
“You don’t? Mm… Unfortunate, because you do… Or at least I’ve appreciated the points you’ve made.” Llewellyn could at least relate to the feeling, sometimes it was a bit annoying when you said or suggested something and others ignored or dismissed it in favour of something they came up with themselves only to discover he’d been right all along.