aterat | audio

Entry tags:

audio

In Russian folklore we have a tale of a being known as Koschei the Deathless. [ Such a strong name requires a dramatic pause before she continues on. ]

One particular tale, Tsarevich Petr and the Wizard, goes as such: once upon a time the beloved wife of Tsar Bel-Belianin was abducted by the vile Koschei. This wizard was known as a terribly frightening foe as he had cast a spell upon himself that prevented himself from being killed. You see, he had the brilliant idea to separate his soul from his body and hide in nested objects. In this particular tale his soul was in an egg, in a duck, in a hare, nested in a hollowed log.

Seems like a needlessly complicated path to immortality if you ask me. One with some very obvious flaws. [ She thinks this story is stupid. ]

Well, the sons of Tsar Bel-Belianin went to rescue their beloved mother. Only one was able to trick him into tell him of this nested soul and he ventured out find the egg. Once in his possession he found the wizard and then smashed the egg in front of him, kill him instantly.

[ And thus ended his reign of terror. ]

There are many variations of the story, he's something of an archetypal villain where I'm from. Generic if you ask me. He's always on the search for an eternal bride.

[ But there it is, her story that she was forced to tell. ]

Strange...well, if I disappear you'll know what happened. [ She sighs. She better not though. ] Should we all play truth or dare next?

[ ooc: Not too long after posting this she'll be kidnapped and talking from there. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'll be generous and accept your apology, for now.

[ Wasn't that kind of her? The visible smirk on her face made it obvious that she certainly thought it was the most kind thing she could have ever possibly done. He brought these things on himself, at least that's precisely what she'd say. ]

Outside. [ So, she walked out, back into the graveyard itself and let out a deep sigh as she stretched more. ]

Even the graveyard smells better than it did in there. At least....[ Before she could say something witty a frustrated howl could be heard echoing from inside her former cage. ]

Guess he came back. [ She sounded more amused than she should. Just as she said that the wizard from her story walked through the exit she'd just taken, coming face to face with both of them. He was a shriveled but imposing figure, looking almost exactly like Rasputin from the Anastasia animated movie. He pointed a bony finger at Waver ]

You dare steal my bride? [ His shaky voice had a strong Russian accent. ]

Nope, no brides have been stole here. [ Illyana said with a grin. ] But we do have an eggcellent surprise for you. [ Oh yeah, she's proud of that. ]

I’ll take what I can get. [ He huffed at the ‘for now,’ because even he would agree he tended to bring things on himself. Waver was the one who insisted on getting involved, despite her wanting him not to. So he followed her outside with a quick step, opening his mouth to respond lightly when the howl cut off her words and his own. ]

Figured he would. [ It was just like clockwork; something was wrong in the wizard’s domain, so of course he’d check it out.

The question gets an indignant sigh, though, and a roll of his eyes. This guy looked like he already had one foot in the grave for someone called ‘the deathless,’ it was clear whatever made him so didn’t keep him from wasting away. ] Even if there were, I’m afraid brides are not among the things I’m keen to pick up.

[ His eyes glancing sidelong with a ‘really?’ at the horrible pun before he continued, plucking the egg from the space in his pocket to hold aloft.. ] Picking up things of significant magical value left carelessly around; however, I admit I’m prone to.

[ He activated his circuits and applied reinforcement magecraft to his arm to strengthen his grip, waiting a moment or two so the wizard could process what he was being shown to ensure they filled the ‘destroy the egg in front of him’ condition. ]

I think this only has value to the right person, though. Better off destroyed, I think.

I thought you would. [ She smirked, clearly meaning that in some way that wasn't at all innocent. More like it was just another entry in her joke book, because she just had to make a joke out of everything she could. And right now she had to make as many jokes at his expense as possible because she was being rescued by him. It was a travesty. ]

Return my bride and the egg and we won't have to have any problems.

[ His eyes widened, clearly fully aware of what it was that Waver had. He stepped forward hesitantly, holding out his hands as if he thought they'd just give it over. ]

I mean her no harm, we'll have a wonderful life here if you let us.

A wonderful life of servitude to an evil wizard. Been there, done that, I'm good!

[ She turned to Waver ]

Smash it!

[ Waver rolled his eyes again, either at Illyana’s comment or Mr. Deathless Wizard, because he wasn’t sure which annoyed him more right now (the wizard at the moment). Though he would tell Illyana she needed a better joke book, her verbal pokes and jests were the worst! ]

Afraid we had a problem the minute you embarked on this little kidnapping scheme of yours.

[ There’s a noticeable arch of his brow and a thin smile crossed his face at the expression on their current foe once it set in that he had the egg. The fact that he shifted immediately into trying to sway Waver on this particular subject was almost laughable. Did he really think this was a good argument? What absolute rubbish! ]

Well, you heard the lady.

[ He added to Illyana’s outright rejection of the withered-looking wizard in front of them. Her command gets a slight nod, and his grip on the egg tightens. The reinforcement magecraft ensures the egg audibly cracks and shatters in his grip. ]

It’s just not going to work out… So you might as well go the hell back to whatever crypt you crawled out of.

[ Waver huffed as he let the pieces of the egg fall to the ground in front of them with a severe frown. ]

[ The minute the egg touched the ground it shattered, and the wizened old wizard started to crack himself and then he fell apart as though he were made of an egg himself. It definitely wasn't a particularly pleasant thing to watch and yet Illyana seemed all too happy to watch. ]

That was simple. [ Given all she had to do was watch as the egg broke. So...it was simple for her... ] To think all it took was an egg.

[ Waver let out a long sigh once the wizard had fallen apart. Horrific as it was, it wasn’t the worst thing he’d seen, and the mage looked a bit unimpressed and disgusted at best.

His shoulders sagged a little as he let go of the tension he’d been holding for this whole mess. A sidelong glance was directed at Illyana over the ‘simple’ comment. This had not been simple in his opinion… At least not everything leading up to this point! ]

I think that’s debatable… [ He commented, dropping his arms to his side before turning to get a better look at Illyana. ] Though I can’t deny it wrapped up easier than I expected it to... You’re alright, though, yeah?

[ The question is posed with an awkward attempt at casual concern. ]

When you put all your souls in the egg basket I guess you crack too easy. [ She thought she was funny, she really did. Nobody was going to convince her she wasn't either! Besides, making a joke of it meant she didn't have to do something like thank him for his help. That sounded awful.

She grinned even wider at that. ]

Awww your concern is so touching. I'm...[ she trailed off then put a hand to her head before falling down all the sudden. Once on the ground she opened a single eye to see if she could tell what he was doing and how he was reacting. Would he take her bait??? Was it a bit too obvious? These were the questions she'd wait for. ]

[ The longest, most annoyed sigh award goes to Waver Velvet after that joke. ]

That was terrible….

[ He said, knowing it would not stop her from making such jokes and quips in the future. Part of him even realized he was probably making sure it would happen by reacting at all.

His eyes widened in alarm when she dropped, instinct kicking in first. ]

Shit, I knew that went too smoothly. [ He commented with a definite edge of stressed concern bleeding through as he crouched to get a better look and offer her a hand. Mentally going over potential causes for the fall related to what just happened, he opened his mouth to ask for symptoms, then frowned. He saw that eye open; he realized he’d been played. ] Do you think you’re funny??

[ Saved her, and this is how she thanks him!!! Yes, he realized she didn’t ask him to and he doesn’t expect thanks… But he expected a little less messing with him! Like… For half a day??? Maybe??

No, the universe would explode.]

[ Alas for him, Illyana thought it was terribly funny. So funny that she was laughing far too hard to say anything for a good few minutes. In fact she was laughing so hard that she was clutching her stomach. ]

Oh- c'mon [ said in between laughs ] it was definitely funny. I'm very funny!

[ Waver froze for a moment as she started laughing, the scowl on his face growing and a very long, frustrated noise escaping him at this whole scene. How did he always fall for this!! He should know better!

For a moment, he tried very hard to not give her the satisfaction of a reaction beyond that, his arms folded slightly and shoulders hunched… ]

It was not funny and you are a menace!

[ Mission failed, game over. ]

Since you’re clearly fine, why don’t you get up so we can leave your creepy-almost-husband’s property?

You'll be shocked to learn that's not the first time I've heard that! I actually hear it all the time.

[ Why does she take so much satisfaction out of hearing that she's a menace? Probably because it fuels her idea that she's won in this game of teasing him. And she will of course fully take this as a victory.

She sighs loudly and in a very over-exaggerated way as she stands up and then brushes herself off in an equally dramatic way. ]

I was hoping someone would be a gentleman and help me up, but alas...chivalry is dead. Want me to teleport us somewhere?

You’re right. I never would have guessed.

[ He responded, tone and expression more than a little deadpan, and maybe just a hint of some tiredness behind the eyes. So all in all, normal Waver. Eyes narrowing at the continued dramatics, he huffed in answer to her exaggerated sigh. ]

Pardon me, my lady, but I thought you might take offense to me trying to help you again.

[ He responded with a mock politeness. He had been really worried there, dammit! That, on top of feeling like a fool for believing her act was making him… a little petulant? Yes, a little. He might not be as bad as he was in his younger years, but it happened now and again. He was still himself, deep down, no matter how much he’d grown.

Waver even had half a mind (the stubborn half) to tell her that he didn’t need to be teleported anywhere… But the sensible half also didn’t relish walking all the way back the way he’d come after all that. ]

If you wouldn’t mind, yes.

Oh? I didn't know you cared if I took offense or not. [ Something else to tease him about! How exciting! Ah, she did love deadpan he got sometimes. Particularly when it was followed up by the mocked politeness, it really did only add fuel to her fire.

She grinned and then a disc began to form at both their feet, coming up quickly to surround them and then they were at his place. Because of course she'd go there. ]

I guess I'll leave you here, we should both probably get some sleep. You've had a big day, especially for the elderly! [ As though he were a lot older than her. She paused for a long awkward second before actually adding on: ]

Thank you.

I don’t! I just don’t feel like listening to the complaints and arguments about-

[ He started in a reactive huff, ears starting to turn red in embarrassment at the notion that he actually cared (no one could know)! But then Illyana’s disc formed under their feet and he found himself at his place. More than a little disoriented by the experience, his retort cuts off short.

Brows furrowing as he glanced around. Of course, she’d just teleport him in here. On the one hand, sleep sounded good. This week was going to hit him hard the minute he let his guard down. It always did. But on the other hand… ]

I’m not THAT old yet! [ He found the prickly nature inside him again…

But her thanks get an awkward hum, shoulders lifting slightly. ]

Don’t mention it. I wasn’t going to just leave you to that. [ Waver finally responded in a less tense tone. He’s not happy to leave anyone to a horrible fate if he can do something about it. He’s just glad he didn’t fail this time. ] You’re a menace, but you didn't deserve that.

Could've fooled me. [ Of course she had to throw that out there, right? ] But hey, don't sleep then. If you eventually pass out though, don't blame me.

She shifted a bit, putting one arm on the other in display that revealed a hint of awkwardness. ]

If you say so. [ Well. Now it was time for her to teleport away from the situation. The Illyana special. She as there and then she wasn't. ]

S-shut up, I’m not going to just pass out! [ Waver makes a face, expression embarrassingly awkward like she’d hit the nail on the head. Does Waver have a habit of falling asleep in weird places like at a desk or something? Yeah… Even here he’d done it once or twice.

His expression softened a little at her own awkwardness, and he opened his mouth to respond in an attempt to be a little nicer about it. ]

I do- [ And she’s gone. Sighing, Waver actually found his sofa to make an attempt at sleep, despite his earlier argument. ] You can’t keep doing that, Illyana… One of these days we’re going to have to talk after this kind of thing.

[ He muttered, as though he wasn’t a great big hypocrite himself on the subject of open conversation… before finally taking that nap. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

audio

no subject

/sends apology tea for slow, body is being the worst

i hope you're doing bettter!

A little, and I miss tags <3 so I'm doing them as I can!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject