"Admire my willpower?" Nida asked, shocked as he looked to Ignis. Was that really a thing his lover had said?

"I... didn't have a lot of choice I guess. My friends, my family in the last world, they worked hard to get back back under control of my own life. Twice. I won't disrespect them or you by failing again. I refuse to fail you."

And there was a lot more hanging this time. He didn't want his to-be-husband to leave him for his failure. He would deserve it.

"I'm... trying to be the best version of myself that isn't the wreck or the soldier. It's the best I can aim for. So I had to change myself. Caelan helped for a time. He was the first person I admitted my weakness to here. I would go into his place on hard nights and he'd be there, he'd give me spiced cider instead of anything else, to keep me on the straight and narrow."